The Two Second Rule

I had waited nearly two years for it to happen, for the unexpected ‘drop onto the floor’ event....It was a relief when it did, an example of problem solving at its best. The dough had been kneaded by the enthusiastic, confident, young lady from (“No, it’s Not. It’s Carbon Dioxide.”Dec. 19/12)  Now, it was her turn to knead. Why had she dropped it?

She had been looking around the room as she worked the dough not paying close attention to it or its close proximity to the edge of the table. ... Then it happened... She attempted to retrieve the dough from the floor as quickly as it had fallen, hoping, that no one had seen it fall. ... Could it still be O.K. to use?...  It had not been on the carpet that long. ... (One/two second rule?) ... Perhaps, it was still usable. ... Her quick action, though, was a remarkable response to an unexpected departure from our kneading routine. I waited to see what the students would do next. ... Everyone at the kneading table was quiet... What were they thinking? ... More importantly, what was she thinking?... Questions were asked to determine the students’ knowledge of what they had seen, why it had happened and the next step. ... A new twist on our weekly routine was now a glaring predicament for the assembled group.

Life throws each and every one of us the unexpected, the shocking, from time to time. ...What we had here was a dilemma, a perfect one for children to solve. ... Posing the difficult questions helped the group come to the conclusion that making more dough was the only option left open to them if we were to have a lesson next week. ... Time was at a premium, however. ... We had none to spare. Recess was ten minutes away with some students leaving to go to another class when the break was finished. ...We could not wait.

The crestfallen student took the ‘fallen dough’ to Mary, explaining what had happened, why it had happened and what she planned to do about it. The student realized the whole process would have to begin again at a much quickened pace while enlisting the help of other students who had already been ‘at the table’ that morning but whose academic work was done and could return to help make a new batch of dough. ... 

Volunteers were in plentiful supply. ...  No request was refused. ... The young lady, whose shy almost reclusive demeanour had brought us to this place, now rose to the challenge to fix the problem she had created. ... Delegating each job was now hers to determine. In her enthusiasm, however, she felt compelled to adopt a ‘do-it-all’ approach with her, doing it all. (She was reminded that this was a group effort and anyone of us could have dropped the dough onto the floor.) Eventually, the fast paced ‘class production' was completed in record time. ... The dough was made. ... The recess bell rang.

The young lady had been transformed, empowered, made more confident and self-assured.  As she left for recess, she turned to me and smiled. Months earlier, upon meeting her, she could not, would not look at me. I was a stranger to her back then. Today, I was her friend. We had been through the trenches. ... She saw how discussion, assessment, solution and action had turned a seeming insurmountable problem into just another of life’s challenges. ... We sighed. ... We laughed and parted for the day. ... Another  great moment in history had passed!

"We Don't Need Her"

“We don’t need her”, the student was heard to say... Mary had just informed the class that I would not be in that morning. .... The dough lesson would go on as usual, however..... The class had made their intentions clear.... (I'd heard about the comment when I returned the following week and was elated at the stand they had taken)..... It was the beginning of a collective class transformation.  

The goal of learning is the mastery of the subject being studied. When ‘learning’ is not being achieved in a timely or satisfactory fashion, we must then alter what we are teaching and the trajectory of the direction we are taking in trying to achieve the desired learning goals. With young children, who may manifest learning challenges, very early on, it is imperative that a program involving all five senses be carried out to optimize successful learning outcomes....Keeping things simple and fluid is always the name of the game. ... It was now necessary to up the ante, so to speak, to challenge Mary’s students and, perhaps, take them in a new direction.  ...  (Boredom dampens attention and kills learning!).

We began an ‘art’ class, using dough. ... As time passed, the children in Mary’s class were fast becoming experienced, ardent learners in the art of working with and 'painting' dough......  A repertoire of mastered techniques and product line was slowly building.....Then one day, the class learned how to make a rose...  (I had learned the previous day!).... (It was a simple 1-2-3, roll-twist-pinch maneuver)...  As the class momentum increased, excitement reached new heights. ... The students could not contain their jubilation at what they were doing: creating beautiful roses, ready for ‘painting’, out of simple, easy to make edible dough..... The excitement was palpable...  Then the recess bell rang and the trouble began.

It was time to go outside for the 10 minute break, an event that was repeated 5 days a week, throughout the school year, all over Ontario, Canada. ... Exercise, fresh air was an integral and important part of the elementary school student’s day. ... A strict adherence to education policy was the law. ...  But some students refused to leave. ... One student, in particular, did not move.... She adamantly refused to get up, too busy making roses, practicing the technique, over and over again, much to my delight and hers. She initiated the rebellion but relented when promised that the ‘rose parade’ would continue after the morning break. ...

More ‘we don’t need her’ moments  occurred throughout the year......There was the Victorian Tea to which I had been invited.....While surveying the beautifully decorated table,  I noticed a loaf of braided bread and wondered where it had been purchased.... I was mistaken in my thinking..... This exquisite baked creation had been made by a student and his dad......The ‘art of teaching’ had come full circle.I was on the verge of tears.

The next time you hear your child/student say, “I don’t need you”, remember the comment as the highest form of praise. You are no longer needed. You have done your job. It is now time for them to do theirs.  

"No, It's Not. It's Carbon Dioxide!"

Language is what drives all learning. ... It is life’s equalizer. No high tech piece of gadgetry, large, small or cute, can replace the human being in teaching or modelling language to children. As a parent volunteer (and former secondary school foods teacher) in 'Mary’s' primary intensive language class, I drawn to young children at the beginning of their learning careers. I wanted to make a difference. ... Time was not on their side. I could not waste this valuable invisible learning resource! 

The class had begun as usual:  measuring, mixing, kneading and shaping.... (It was a strict plan followed every week  in Mary’s class.) .... The large, cumbersome, mass of dough was being kneaded, in turn, by each member of the group of 4 -5.... (The dough served as a tool in the development of upper body strength, co-ordination and a symbol of 'brain stimulation') In one sense the child was also manipulating his brain. To make the dough strong and elastic, the children knew the importance of kneading. ... They watched, felt and understood the visual and tactile changes that would indicate that the dough was ready for the next step. ...They helped each other as the questions continued. ... (The questions always continued. They formed the basis of this experimental fun, practical exercise called yeast dough).

“What is that”, I asked, in reference to the little ‘balloons’ visible on the surface of the dough.’ The first student responded, “bubbles”... (These little markers were indicators of good kneading and a healthy dough). ...We continued. ... “What is inside these bubbles?” I continued. The student thought for the longest time then blurted out the word, “Antibiotics”...  His response was quick, unexpected and amazing. ... Such depth of thought. ... How had that happen?  Then came a rebuttal, uttered in complete indignation, by his female classmate who retorted, “No its not.  It’s carbon dioxide.” Blunt and to the point! . ... Award winning answers in a special needs primary language class!

How did this interplay of words occur? .... Both Mary and I were stunned by the fast paced exchange of information. It was unforeseen, unimaginable, incredible. ...This ‘debate’ came about because of the meaningful activity that lay before the students, repeated week after week, in different formats with one big difference: language was first and foremost on the minds of these confident children. ... It had to be. Language is, after all, the engine that drives all learning in life and forms the foundation upon which higher order thinking is built.

The word antibiotics is generally not in the vocabulary of a young child. ... I had not spoken about bacteria but had about germs and hand washing. ... The young boy was thinking in an extraordinary way, coming up with a meaningful response that made sense to him and me. The girl was listening and helped to change the discourse. What was significant was hearing the 'spoken' thought of a young child. There is nothing more profound than that.

Carbon dioxide is a colourless, odourless and invisible gas found in the air and also trapped in the bubbles of well kneaded dough. ... The young girl corrected her classmate, feeling confident in her answer. ... She corrected her peer not the teacher. We had discussion and a most profound meeting of the minds. ... Mary and I were overwhelmed. ... These children were slowly becoming both scientist and master of their craft and yeast dough was the teaching tool. ... As the students kneaded the dough, they questioned, investigated and questioned some more. ... It was a remarkable event, with science and language at its core.

Sometimes, as teachers or parents, we are too focused on the correct answer, the correct  pronunciation of a word or words. ... What truly matters when working with young children, especially those with learning challenges, is the engagement of the child, the ease of speaking with another caring human being. ...  Let the words go. ... Their relevance, their correct pronunciation is totally irrelevant. What truly matters is the 'safety' and ease of the discourse between child/ adult and child/child. Our job is to encourage all children to express themselves through words. The ease of discussion must never be impeded. The door to higher order thinking is there. Let it happen. Love that dough! (Music will wait its turn).   

  

Show and Tell

It happened in Mary’s primary intensive class....  It was profound, really... Quite the feat....  How did it happen?...  The children were told to simply relax and enjoy the ‘Show and Tell’ break today.

The Great Dane had entered the classroom, owner in tow. The girl from our group moved into position, beside her mom, the parent whose dog was the topic of attention and affection this morning.... My students had stopped  kneading the dough and moved to another table  in anticipation of the dog show that would begin momentarily.....

I had asked them not to worry about their hands... We’d wash them later before returning to the kneading table.... We watched as the magnificent beast entered the room.... The students sat down as the question and answer period began. ... I looked. Again, I looked.....What was my group doing? ...  I had not asked them to do the impossible but the impossible was what they were doing. ... The students reminded me of surgeons, clean hands suspended in mid air, elbows resting on the table. These driven little people had decided as a group to sit together and not let their hands touch anything. ... They understood the importance of hygiene, especially when it applied to food handling. They had showed respect for their craft. ... But it was not necessary to think about that now. ... Show and Tell was up next.

My ‘dough’ group was focused, attentive, disciplined, trying to keep their hands out of harm’s way.  Their self-control was not what I had asked or expected of them. ... They were too young to demonstrate that quality under those circumstances.  These qualities that make us human generally occur at a later stage of development. ... The question and answer period lasted 10 minutes. ...  But in those few minutes of Show and Tell, I learned a lot that day! ... Sometimes, the expectations we set for children can be lower than what they set for themselves!

A five part series on the power of dough in the Special Needs classroom will begin soon....The miracle in the classroom, as mentioned earlier this year in Special Education-/Engagement/ Senses- a five year plan- will document, anecdotally, of course, dough's ease, as a teaching/learning tool in the primary  special needs classroom towards the development of higher order thinking.

#1).... ”No it’s not.  It’s  carbon dioxide”,  she remarked, quickly correcting her classmate... 

#2).... “We don’t need her”, he remarked after being told I would not be in today...

#3).... “The Five Second Rule"            

#4)....  "What do you think of my crueller?”, the student asked?...

#5).... “Why didn't you use that gluten word?", he asked.

Children make us think; therefore, they make us smarter.... We re-evaluate, re- formulate new hypotheses that challenge  them and ourselves in reshaping our thinking on what we know or what we think we know.. ..I look forward to illustrating how yeast dough helped shape these special students into incredible thinking machines, starting with the little girl who dared to challenge everyone and everything. ... 

The Photograph

The photograph is an incredible imprint of a moment in history...This past summer, it took on new meaning for my husband and me at a surprise 40^th anniversary dinner...Poster after poster of photographs were on display depicting our life!...Today, as I began to take down these pictures and place them into a special commemorative album, I soon realized how many special moments were created and caught on film...Our 40^th anniversary was an incredible milestone....How had we done it? ....   What we did not realize on that special day, in August, was the effect our 40 year union had had on our adult children..... The surprise party for us was the ‘wedding reception’ we never had  40 years ago!

Today’s  slow, meticulous dismantling of several hundred pictures, spanning over  40 years, reminded me of the many moments of love, hilarity and caring that had occurred....  There were pictures of our teen boys adorning themselves with wigs of long colorful hair to surprise me at a Bon Jovi concert in Toronto, ..Then there was the time our boys, dressed in suits with dark glasses, drove a family friend to our barbecue, pretending she was a high profile dignitary, as they whisked her away to her destination....Presidential treatment comes to mind... We all laughed as I snapped yet another picture of the secret mission infolding before us.....   Family pets of many kinds, some long since gone, are forever remembered because photographs made them a lingering memory for me....  (A strip of 15 pictures will remain intact and framed,  too  gripping to lose in the confines  of an album)..... (The video camera, a cumbersome bit of machinery back then, was never in my arsenal of ‘picture taking’ tools.) ...Today's digital camera is a marvel to behold!

The unexpected, unrelenting, imaginative, and simply wonderful moments created by our family and friends reminded me that an eclectic life had unfolded and continues to unfold...Photographs tell the complete story... Pictures of the places we’d visited come alive because of a husband who always wanted to travel and whose incredible sense of direction opened up new vistas for all of us... Our sons were very lucky to have a father so talented and immersed in their lives, every step of the way....Pictures of our life together had become an interestingly woven tapestry for our assembled guests to view and for us to enjoy, forever.....My incessant picture taking had not been for naught!

The cornucopia of snapshots, grouped thematically and chosen with care, were a marvel to behold-still.  Our precious girls, daughter-in-law and “Lucy”, had worked their magic, painstakingly,  to bring these pictures to life....I marvelled and cried silently at those pictures, a world that might not have been had we not had children..... My ‘picture taking’ had served a purpose...  Countless hours had been spent scanning then choosing these photographs for presentation. ...  Their impact was profound..... (A professional photographer, a close family friend, praised our children for the quality of their display)... The moments of yesteryear were now up close and personal, a tangible, immovable feast for us to view over and over again, a continual reminder of our  five children’s mind numbing surprise.

The pictures taken on our anniversary added yet another dimension of visual proof that something special had happened that day... Detailed planning had gone into the execution of this event. The pictures told this newest story..... But it was the people: a mix of many who have touched our lives over the years made our 40^th, an event we could never have imagined....   The pictures- still life, full of purpose and promise, helped me see what a wonderfully orchestrated history 40 years had brought...The snapshots said it all.... And I cried some more.....

An Alliance with Food

Good health and good food are closely connected. ... It’s an alliance that has stood the test of time... Food choices are not about what we like but what the body needs....A trip to the local food market, a few months ago, opened my eyes to yet another nutritional WOW moment... I had stopped in for a couple of items, early one morning....  As I approached  the  check- out lane, there in front of me, lay a  lush forest of greenery, so pure in colour and fragrance ( with some  frozen fish), that I jokingly remarked to the customer,   “Where are the Twinkies”?...  He then began his story. He used to work in an animal clinic, in close connection with the doctors there. ... Many times, he remarked, an animal’s suffering or chronic condition could only be addressed with a prescription or a change of the animal’s commercial pet food. Sometimes, these medical anomalies were overwhelming, he added. ... I listened as he recounted the years of watching and working with dogs, cats and other creatures. ... Our conversation continued, outside.

As the owner of a reptile store, he talked about the serious afflictions that some breeds of dogs displayed, sometimes a characteristic of the breed or simply an expected outcome of ill health or the aging process. ... His thinking about pet health evolved. Could there be a better way? ...  Old patterns rarely resulted in new outcomes. ... Aging takes its toll on every living creature.....It is incumbent upon us to change our thinking and habits as we gain insights into and accommodate the new reality of ill health, injury and aging with our loved family pets and ourselves. ...  The ‘pet’ store owner’s recipe for  health success was simple and unadorned. ... His methods of blending and juicing these ‘super’ vegetables, to help restore good health to his pets, were inspiring....  His pets were now healthier and happier for the changes he had made. ... To his animals, he was a miracle worker. ...  I was moved by his story. ... It was simplicity at its best.

Remembering the pet food recall/crisis of a few years ago in Canada, the United States and beyond, it now seems prudent to reconsider our total reliance on an industry that we have trusted, implicitly, from the beginning, to feed our furry offspring. ....  My confidence in the pet food industry was shattered, back then, after it was revealed that a foreign 'plastic' material that mimicked a food substance was found in pet food, intentionally put there by a third party....The deaths  of cats, dogs and the disabling of many others destroyed the lives of pet owners. ...  We weeped at the scale of the tragedy. ... The bottom line had been the great motivator in this crime.

Several years ago, a routine blood test was taken for our 10 year old female retriever. ...The test revealed that she was dying and had only weeks to live...  ( either her body was killing off her red blood cells or she had leukemia).... I was numb.... The doctor immediately suspected the ‘painkiller’, she was taking,  was causing this ‘side effect’....  And it was!...  A similar drug was begun immediately.... A few months later, though, that drug was stopped. ...  Our dog had not displayed any pain...(What was I thinking?) ...  Both drugs were painkillers...  The second drug was killing pain; the initial one was killing our dog!! ... This newest lesson hit home in dramatic fashion. 

Drugs given to help/heal, initially, can, sometimes, become a lethal weapon, later.....When I believed our dog was dying, I began giving her Rooibos tea (in her food), a red hued African tea known for its superior cancer killing/antioxident properties. ...  (She had nothing to lose, I reasoned)...  Like the gentleman who took a forest home to his pets, I added Rooibos tea -(caffeine free)- to my dog’s diet whose false positive diagnosis opened up a new way of thinking, believing and doing....   She lived nearly two more years - drug free and with tea!

The Pharmaceutical Giant in the Kitchen

A recent discovery by the Momsey has helped shift a new light on one of the pharmaceutical giants in the kitchen: the common, everyday apple.... Though berries, leafy greens and other colourful fruits and vegetables have been exalted for their super health benefits, attention should now be focused on the humble apple, a star in its own right. 

Apples have been an important ‘diet’ food in the lives of our dogs for  over 14 years.... It was the proverbial ‘an apple a day’ regimen begun, many years ago, out of a concern for our pets’ teeth and gums that made apples an important part of their daily diet. ... It’s funny how you start something for one reason and continue for another... Now, this dynamic fruit has been pushed to its nutritional limits with a recent discovery of a natural acid found in its peel that helps to build muscle and burn fat. 

When our 13 year old retriever, ‘puppy boy’, (88 pounds), began experiencing coughing spells recently, I began to have a renewed love affair with this common fruit knowing its power as a protective veil for lungs. l soon began to juice apples to address our pet’s periodic wheezing and coughing with 'apple juice'. ...  It would become his 'cough medicine’ whenever needed.... Then came this newest discovery proclaiming apples supremacy in combating muscle decline and fat accumulation, as we age.... 

In the Autumn 2012 issue of Living Well Naturally, a magazine published by Natures’ Emporium, a Canadian whole food market, the author of the article on apples, Dr. Mark Rosenberg, wrote about ursolic acid’s prominence in apple peels that reprograms genes to build muscle and burn fat.... This scientific discovery further reinforced the benefits of eating both the apple and its peel, something we have been told to do all of our lives, anyway. ... 

Apples are tops in health benefits! ... They are now juiced regularly for our dogs. ... Fewer and shorter coughing episodes have been noted since the 'juice' was added to our 13 year old's diet. ... A recent sprain he suffered made moving and getting up even more difficult. ... The formerly discarded apple peel and its pulp are now front and center at every meal for this reason, ( in addition to a recommended joint support powder)- helping to strengthen his muscles etc....  This new power of apple peels, supported by science, cannot be ignored....  Our dog, and his much younger companion, receive apple/carrot/celery peel in their food, the residue that remains from juicing...This fiber mixture is another added benefit to their daily diet. ...  (Seeds and stems are discarded).....Red delicious apples are used mostly because of their red peel.... (More red colour equals more anti oxidant value, I have learned)....

It is amazing what you can learn when you read  the ‘free’ magazines found in the ‘grocery store’...In Free Kittens, Puppies for Sale, I wrote about the seeming diminished, undervalued treatment of ‘free to a good home’ pets...Does a ‘Please Take One’ magazine also imply a diminished value of this free publication?.... We ignore ‘free’ magazines at our own peril.... It was this free publication that enlightened me to the awesome powers of the common apple...We don't know what we don't know!

I am now in awe of the apple, more than ever. It has always seemed to be the granddaddy of all fruits.  Now it is king and I am its humble servant!

  

A Dread of Many; A Passion of Momsey

Becoming a parent seemed to open up a new vista for me: public speaking. While our children attended elementary school, I began to volunteer in the kindergarten classroom and the school, familiar environments for me. ... Having been a former secondary school teacher, I felt right at home in the classroom. It made sense to me. ...Years  later, I was nominated for the region's teacher elementary school award, then chosen out of more than 1,000, to be given this prestigious honour. I wrestled with what to say on stage. To simply say thank you and leave seemed empty. Thanking everyone who helped get me to this place of honour was the right thing to do. After all, success is a team sport! My foray into public speaking had begun.

When our oldest graduated from grade 8, I was asked to give the parent address... Many had declined the offer, in previous years, for a host of reasons. I accepted, afraid to say no... If you have something important to say, you must say it. Fear can impede progress. With title in hand, I kept the speech brief, 3-5 minutes in length while keeping the audience awake!... My speech had to enlighten, educate or entertain or I had failed.... The speech was a success... References to the Canadian military leader, who had been on a speaking tour, at that time, were made in connection to my speech by our sons' male teacher. ... I was humbled by his words and the whole experience. ... In the audience that evening was ‘Mary’ who later asked me to join her in September to volunteer in her primary intensive language classroom. More opportunities to speak - on behalf of special needs children - would follow.

After two years of working in Mary’s class, I was asked to participate in a Professional Development Day conference for teachers of the region north of Toronto, one of the largest in Canada. I spoke at length about my ‘anecdotal’ evidence of the power of yeast dough in the special needs classroom, while Mary spoke about her testing methods. ... (Mary was the school's primary lead teacher as well as the primary intensive language teacher of the school our sons had attended)... Two sessions that day - each with 22 teachers in attendance - told me I had something important to communicate. Mary believed in 'us'. Mary noted how attentive the teachers had been as I spoke. She had rarely seen such concentration, having been both participant and presenter on many other occasions. ... Later, I learned, we had been asked to be presenters at a province wide conference (Ontario) towards the end of summer  but Mary had a prior commitment. ..  Sadly, we could not participate.... 

Public speaking, I soon realized, became something I enjoyed doing.... (There was a reason behind this madness)... In order to tell my story of yeast dough and its  affect on 'higher order' thinking and language in the hands and mind of the special  needs child, I had to get over any fear or anxiety I might have speaking to large audiences. ... The message was too important to keep to myself. ... The world of special education required that I tell the story of primal academic transformation. ... It was a simple story, with a simple strategy that worked, inspiring children and helping them reach the top of their ‘game’ in a easy transferable manner in a structured, formalized setting called school... The world of special education is my passion....  Public speaking is simply a tool in its delivery....Next week:  The pharmaceutical giant in the kitchen.

The Musical Trap

Earlier this year - 2012 - a six year old boy from California, was suspended from school for three days, after repeating the ‘suggestive’ lyrics from a song used in a commercial advertising M&M candies. ... We all know that commercial and its familiar song by now.

Who's responsibility is it now to monitor these selling moments when they appear on programs  deemed suitable for family viewing?... There was a time when television and all the programs being shown on it were considered suitable for family audiences. ...Warnings were never issued and commercials were informative, few and far between, without being embarrassing or otherwise. ... It was a time when the audience was respected and programming, somewhat, wholesome. ... 

Alas, commercials are now king and what is being ‘offered for sale’ and the delivery mechanism being chosen are somewhat questionable. ... Songs being used in commercials are now, slowly, ensnarling our children as they innocently sing these 'lyrical', happy tunes in school. ... Are we actually blaming children for a situation created by adults, some of whom, have no boundaries about the methods they choose to sell their products or services?

There was a time when we were concerned about the societal effects of tobacco, alcohol and other products in T.V. commercials. ... Now, it seems, we have other worries. ... Let us assess blame where it belongs: to the artists who write and perform these songs, the producers/ directors who orchestrate their production and the companies who choose the musical tunes that end up on prime time airways, finding their way into the minds of little children, civilization's tiny sponges. The final culprit in this sale chain is the consumer - us! We buy the songs that generally end up in the listening ears of our impressionable children. It's a catchy tune but the lyrics are not. Tell me, why?

An innocuous product like candy, synonymous with children, is being advertised in a commercial, grabbing the attention of the viewing public, and hopefully, for the company, garnering a larger share of the confection market. ... We made the song popular through sales/ down loads. ... Its popularity has given it top billing in a funny little commercial that incorporates both cartoon like figures and a catchy tune and has, understandably, caught the attention of children, society’s little mimics.

Children learn from what they see and hear!!... To all song writers who think their tunes deserve ‘interesting’ or ‘shocking’ lyrics, remember who is listening to your song. ...  The adults aren’t your only audience. ...  Where is a family to go, what is family to do - if the family show  our children are watching, suddenly and without warning, displays a commercial that is inappropriate - in words, in a song or product endorsement?... Is there no standard of care here? ... Have we lost our marbles? ... I have learned that there are, sometimes, two versions of the same song? ... Why?... What’s the point? . Is the aim to offend? ...

I have stopped listening to songs whose lyrics shock. There are too many artists who sing /write incredible songs for the public for there to be a shortage of material from which to choose and be inspired, without worrying about the lyrics and their meaning. ...  Music should not come with a warning. ...  Parents have enough to deal with without wondering what the lyrics are - until it’s too late. Let this be a cautionary tale to all who dare think that children are not listening to the magic of words in a song . ...  Please, artist's, before you create, remember society's tiny, civilized, little sponges are listening, too. 

School in the Modern Age

Learning in the 21st century is overwhelming... It cannot be contained... We have the internet with its many configurations and those who blog- oops- to dispense information, not all of it truthful, necessary and some of it harmful or inappropriate....It cannot be ignored!  

At the beginning of life, learning encompasses many things that challenge the young ‘plastic’ human mind, on many fronts...  We learn in the park, at the mall, in the yard, in the home and in a host of other informal settings from people close to us: family, friends and ‘mother’ nature...The internet has forced public education, willingly or unwillingly, to re-format itself in light of this new formidable ally...The elementary school curriculum has been in existence since the beginning of public education. It is a strict plan of action outlining the steps and objectives of all subjects to be taught and the timeline in which it must be done. ... The curriculum has been painstakingly written by ‘others,’ unknown to the teacher. ... In these rapid fire times, why not let the curriculum simply be a long term goal rather than a complicated plan of material to be covered?... In elementary school, igniting the passion of learning is critical towards lifelong success. So much has changed today in the way education is delivered that simplifying its delivery could make life easier and less stressful for all, with far fewer behavioural problems in the process...

Are today’s teachers spending too much time creating literary masterpieces  called report cards in  language deemed complicated and foreign to  many parents but expected by the Board??..Is too much time being utilized in this non-productive way?...  (From my vantage point, one report can take one hour or longer to complete. If the ‘net’ is busy or has collapsed, it takes longer.)... What was wrong with the 1950’s “Can do better” or “Working to her/his potential” or “Excellent achievement”... Right after getting an “E” in arithmetic in my grade three report card in 1956, my child like mind woke up... I received an “A” in the subject next term and completed the next three years-(4-5-6) within the span of two. .. Mathematics, French , Latin and Music became subject favourites of mine in high school. English composition and literature were my worst subjects, then... Today, my favourite book is a cherished, (chewed lovingly on the corners), hard cover standard college dictionary,  published by Funk and 'Wag'nalls.  (published in 1963.)... Strange, how things evolve...

Keeping the learning objectives of the curriculum or course of study in mind and informing the department head of the next ‘wayward’ trip into learning, the teacher could, perhaps, accomplish more with her class... The class would realize the rewards of staying on task for the next ‘journey into space’. ...  Could the teacher accelerate the teaching of certain units, to push the limits of the class’s endurance to facilitate higher order thinking and the creation of spare time for a learning change of pace in the classroom?..( bread making?,  dancing? music appreciation?)... Could ten months of learning be condensed into eight or less?...  Imagine the mandate, then? ... Enlisting the help of stronger students to mentor weaker ones could strengthen the whole ‘organism’- (the class)... (Learning would then be a total fun and hilarious experience as more mistakes would now be made as an expected outcome of this new teaching/learning strategy.)

A qualified teacher knows the limits of her mandate, of her profession and of her class on any given day- just like a parent knows her child!!...The internet has taken the facts out of the classroom... The time has come to place the thinking platform - center stage - into the education directive and let the professional teacher do what he does best and was hired to do - teach!!...

Affordable Fine Dining

(Sadly, Lakeside Bistro closed its doors in July 2015.)

In a small town north of Toronto, Ontario, lies a gem of a fine dining establishment, situated on the outskirts of a small town called Keswick, the ice -fishing capital of Canada, (pop. 18,000)... In the summer,  the lure of the  beaches of Cook’s Bay draw many people to this quaint town whose re-development over the last few years has given Keswick a unique place for fine dining called  Lakeside Bistro....  

After ten years of providing personal dining service to its many clientele from the community and beyond, Lakeside Bistro, is in the midst of a tenth anniversary celebration offering lobster tails, surf and turf and crab legs. ... This seafood attraction has been ongoing since the beginning of July and shows no signs of abating. ... Other anniversary specials are coming soon, I’ve been told, as a gesture of gratitude towards its many loyal customers...

The owner/operator is a hands-on proprietor who knows many of his customers by name.  Angelo and his staff have turned Lakeside Bistro into a fine dining destination for holiday, birthday and anniversary celebrations, romantic nights on the town or a warm place to simply forget the hustle and bustle of everyday life... Angelo has an extensive background in the hospitality industry spanning several decades with Peter, his master chef. ... Special touches await you: incredibly sumptuous pasta dishes, rack of lamb, daily steak specials, Sunday's specially priced Prime Rib and other luscious seafood selections . ...  An incredible array of salads await your choosing. (Appetizers of pickles, olives, garlic bread, dipping sauce begin the appetizer selections, courtesy of Lakeside Bistro.) 

With Angelo, Dean and wait staff, it’s all in the details. Customer service coupled with a warm greeting, hug or handshake make Bistro that special place you think about whenever you feel like being pampered... You are greeted like family.... Reservations are accepted at any time, but not necessary. ...(Parties are always welcome!)  Bistro opens early and closes when you are finished.... Bistro, also, offers an eclectic mid week menu for a simple change of pace. (The Caesar salad is incredible.)

Food is freshly prepared to suit your palate... An appetizer plate of an olive oil dipping sauce, old fashioned pickles and olives grace the table alongside the garlic bread as you wait for your food to arrive...Music envelopes you as you relax and enjoy the dimly lit surroundings and fireplace.... The attentive staff await your every wish....Desserts are “tops” - including the Crème Brûlée, diners' favourite, made almost daily by Angelo. ...(A detailed drink/ cocktail menu is now available)

With the hectic pace of modern life, it is nice to know that an affordable, yet elegant and relaxing place exists that treats the customer like family... There are many other dining spots that are interesting and affordable places to enjoy. Few have the personal attention to detail that Bistro offers...Meals are heaven sent!

Our  family now has a place, close to home, that offers a choice to the long distance drive to Toronto that would be necessary for a special night ‘on the town’..... Few fine dining restaurants care the way Bistro does.... Congratulations, Angelo, Dean, Peter and staff, on your tenth anniversary... Lakeside Bistro, with its colourful exterior, outdoor gardens, sculptures, columns and patio area, has stood the test of time and will continue to expand to become yet another sightseeing destination for all...Closed Mondays...

Fructose - Worldwide Health Threat?

Fructose came to my attention in 2001... I wasn’t looking for it... It found me in Chapter’s, ( a Canadian chain of bookstores) - as I perused a new British magazine called Focus in search of information on enriched environments and the young plastic mind..... Strangely prophetic considering the sweetener’s prominence in our food supply today and its detrimental impact on our health...

The colourful and detailed pictorial, in that 2001 issue of Focus, of the human body and the journey fructose took when it was ingested and digested by the body, could not be ignored.... According to British scientists, fructose, sweeter than sugar and cheaper, too, went straight to the liver and was stored as fat... Hmm, I wondered. ..  I am neither a doctor nor  a scientist but this could not be a good thing...The revelations were startling....That knowledge became a pivotal moment in our family’s health history, influencing every food buying decision we have made since...And that was just the beginning!..

Fructose is a fruit sugar found in fruit, its natural habitat, surrounded by fibre and a host of other good things that the body recognizes and uses for health... The sad reality is that the body does not know what to do with this manufactured form of fructose - as it is ‘out of costume’, so to speak. It is manufactured from genetically-modified-(?) (GMO) corn on a grand scale....Fructose is now a foreign substance which the body does not recognize or know how to handle and whose continuous entry into our bodies via the processed foods we eat makes it a real health hazard...... Does this give rise to the illness called fatty liver or cirrhosis of the liver?

As a food service supervisor in my late teens and early twenties, I saw firsthand the importance of food in the lives of the sick.... My position at the Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto, now one of the top cancer treatment centers in the world, helped to dispel any naivety I might have had, then, about the role of food in our daily lives...Food is both a comfort and a cure for what ails us!!

Fructose, it seems, is found in nearly every imaginable processed food product on the market today...Sadly, it is front and center in the drinks of choice: soda pop and fruit cocktails..... The world health crisis says it all... Diabetes, obesity and other health problems can probably trace their origins back to the unknowing, continuous ingestion of sugar in excessive amounts in all of its many sinister forms....Do sausages really need fructose/sugar?...Does the array of cake, cookie, muffin mixes  on the market require an array of sugars and why so much?...Why does tomato sauce contain  fructose/sugar?...Bread crumbs is an innocuous product, generally, until you look at the ingredient list of some... It is downright frightening! ... (Make your own)...  According to scientists another problem with fructose is its ability to turn on, not off, our appetite or hunger hormone...Fructose is not the only culprit, sadly... The trail of additives is closely linked to us, the naive public, as we play Russian Roulette with our health....When did we give food companies permission to alter the formula/recipe and jeopardize our wellbeing?...  When did that happen?....  It seems it all started in the 70’s when food companies realized the potential of enlisting the help of our taste buds -24 hours a day- to accommodate their bottom line and create an incessantly hungry populace...Let us realize that the best way to halt our early demise is to not allow our bodies to be entombed within the complex fructose/ sugar laboratory... We are the authors of our own misfortune when we do not cook for ourselves and  allow "others" to do so- with, sometimes, insidious repercussions.  

Will that be Package A or Package B??

University life is now finished. As our children return from whence they came, a new dilemma presents itself: a job to match the degree they worked so hard to obtain. Today’s modern age does little to fulfill the rest of the dream towards which our children are working.... Jobs are not in plentiful supply...  Positions in Fortune Five Hundred companies are not waiting for them...  Where people used to be, a machine called the computer, in all of its many forms, is now in their place. This is progress, we are told.  Our children are vying for too few positions that remain and until employment is found the questions that beckon to be answered are, “Where do I live? "How will I eat?”

Returning graduates are now dealing with similar challenges we faced many years ago: finding a job and a place to live with an added twist: the student loan. Until these major dilemmas are solved, it makes economic sense to live at home once again with a couple of changes. Here comes choice: Is it package A or B that you wish?

The teens or- middle managers- of yesteryear are gone. Newly minted ‘educated’ adults are now in their place and living with us.... In Package A, we have the ‘home edition’ where all things remain as they did many years ago when each family member contributed in a significant way to the functioning and wellbeing of the family unit: household duties, care of aging pets, etc, car maintenance, lawns and so forth. The perks here: using family car/ carpooling and saving most /all earned  income for the eventual escape into “freedom’... Do not get too comfortable, however... Living with mom and dad is a starting point not an end point! ...(Remember, it is important to get a job not the job!)

Package B is the ‘hotel edition’, the one we all covet but dare not ask for... It is the expensive package that, from the outset, sounds awfully tempting but upon closer examination, is not for us... It allows for total abdication from all responsibilities...With me so far?...  All meals are provided and like a hotel, rooms are cleaned for you. The come, go and do as you please policy is fun, momentarily...No overnight guests, however, unless previously discussed with management team... Room charges will begin immediately and there is no family car for your use... (Hotels do not include the use of vehicles owned by them in the daily room rate....so car rental might be your next best choice.)  

The home edition was always the preferred choice, though, at times, there was an inclination to fall into the ‘hotel’ package... A re-working of these packages was unavailable... ( In the real world, the changing of policies and prices is rarely done)...  Our family pets benefitted the most as they had on- the- spot top notch care with those who knew them well while mom and dad were away on one/two day mini vacations, from time to time...

As time passed it became obvious that a deep bond was forming among our grown sons, something that might not have been possible otherwise...To mock families who have ‘live-at-home’ adult children is to make a mockery of family structure...Helping out deserving members in a family is the meaning of life and family. ...  (We are not talking about lazy, loser, watching television, on the computer all day long, do nothing children, or moochers, as some talk show hosts would have you believe)... Returning children return for a reason. We all suffer hardship from time to time and need help. Helping and being helped are not mutually exclusive...They are the cornerstone of family and community, the building blocks of a caring society... Now, will that be package A or package B?

  

We're Smarter Than You!

As I entered the grade one classroom, I could hear the students gasp... Without missing a beat, a voice was heard shouting, “We’re smarter than adults!” ...It was a thrilling end to a class lesson on making bread. The 24 mini loaves of bread being carried into the classroom had made their mark on the bubbling crowd of students. The concerted efforts and tremendous accomplishments of the students that afternoon had produced incredibly risen, baked to perfection bread...  Had Wayne Gretzky entered the classroom at that moment he might not have been noticed!

I had been asked by the grade one teacher do something with her class... We had met on many occasions as I volunteered across the hall in the classroom of  ‘Mary’, the primary intensive language-primary lead- teacher of the school our sons had attended...Up to that point, I had been visiting Mary’s class two mornings a week teaching her students the basics of yeast dough, teaching them to think... It had all begun in 1994.    

Working with dough had become the focus of my attention as I volunteered with Mary... Attention and working memory, among other things, had been the challenges facing her class. It was then that yeast dough came to be, a hands-on activity that was safe, cost effective, transferable to any environment, and stimulated all five senses of the body... Enriched environments had become my passion now and yeast dough was this enriched environment, grabbing the attention of every student in the class. Unless strongly connected to the use of language, yeast dough was almost a pointless exercise for these children. It was engagement and thinking at its best.

Yeast dough was a program whose continual use of language propelled these youngsters into the realm of expert...It allowed the world into the hearts and minds of these special children. As time passed, the students became the teacher enabling other ‘weaker’ students gain the necessary skill set and confidence to bring about positive learning outcomes. Language was the engine that drove  the yeast dough program. ...It was the miracle in the special needs classroom...The brain was engaged in higher order thinking: the students had to make ongoing determinations about many things based upon their current knowledge. Was the dough ready?... Why?... Was the temperature correct?...  Why?... Had enough time passed for the next step?...Why?... The questions were never ending and always thought provoking...  They had to be...  Real life was waiting for these children and cushioning them from that reality was simply delaying the inevitable harshness and cruelty that life can be. The program’s aims were to develop sharp, higher order thinking skills now. Chemistry, physics, algebra, geometry-(my favourite) began to have meaning  and were  now a fun part of school life.

Prior to my participation in this grade one bread making class, I had asked a few adults about their experiences making bread. All had expressed misgivings and failure at the seeming difficult task of making it...  Perhaps, the young boy knew what he was talking about when he said his classroom of grade one students was smarter than me! ...  Out of the mouth of babes...

The grade one class was already at the top of its learning game. Making bread simply refined what the class already knew and understood...  With Mary’s special children, yeast dough was helping to level the academic playing field for them and was a daily reminder that asking questions was a part of life...  Scientists knew it...  Now they did, too...It was succeeding beyond our wildest imagination... Gluten was now infiltrating their minds at play time...   What was happening?...  We smiled at their transformation...

Start Your Engines...We Have Lift Off...

It has been described as the most important meal of the day. And for children, breakfast is a very important meal. It is a time, when the developing body is in need of its first food of the day, food that will kick start their metabolism for a day of learning fun and action. Children are little volcanoes, moving in all directions, but requiring the proper fuel to meet their specific needs.

For the breakfasts of yesteryear, Cream of wheat, Oat Bran, Red River Cereal and Oatmeal were menu favourites... To this day they are still favourites of mine!..   Introducing children to these old timers and other newcomers goes a long way to building a morning eating routine that will stand the test of time while fortifying mind and body. Mixing these cereals together is also a great way to have it all. The result of combining these ‘hot’ cereal grains for breakfast sends flavour through the roof as it provides  varied nutritional components for optimal health. Other complimentary foods can be added such as:  fruits, liquids- milk or juice, seeds and nuts to make a hot bowl of cereal a special treat.

Filling up on simple carbohydrates in the morning is a pointless exercise. These foods do nothing for a growing child except agitate and excite the body and mind while inducing hunger. A steady stream of nutritious calories throughout the day is critical for the developing body to be able to perform at peak efficiency. It also has a calming effect on the brain... A developing body requires absolute attention to diet... Since a child’s appetite might be less than expected in the a.m., food offerings should be a priority. Last night’s leftover dinner might be an idea worth pursuing. If you made it, it must be good! Eggs can also be utilized in a host of different ways using chopped vegetables and made to order in little time. Mini omelettes can be cooked ahead of time and re-heated in the morning.

Juicing is another great way to introduce foreign foods into your child’s diet.  It is amazing what can be hidden in a juiced beverage while using regular fare such as: apples, oranges, grapes and other familiar fruits or vegetables. Blending or creating ‘smoothies’ also leaves an indelible mark on the appetite. It knocks it down to zero. The vitamins and minerals are also in a format that  the body can utilize almost immediately...The pureeing of whole fruits- (minus the pits/seeds) mixed greens, in a mixed concoction with ‘homemade’ juice you created becomes the best fast food imaginable. Be sure to wash all fruit etc ...  Peel and core as required...Use organic, if possible.

Breakfast is a critical  first meal of the day for children. Their bodies have been at rest in readiness for the demands of the  next hectic day. ‘Quality dining’ is a priority. Only a small amount of food of high nutritional benefit is required to sustain the body for a period of time...Amazingly, a simple apple can shut down hunger instantly as it provides health benefits.

The breakfast meal invites all manner of foods in various disguises (loaded with sugars) as breakfast solutions. Be selective in what you choose.  We cripple our best intentions for our growing children when we give in to the morning time crunch with highly processed foods....Hunger is almost a permanent state of being when the wrong foods enter our bodies...  Time spent organizing and planning the first meal of the day will become  a time honoured tradition and investment in our children’s future life goals, one breakfast at a time.

School Lunches....Yummy and Delicious

In the countdown to school, our attention now turns to the daily task of what to serve our children for lunch keeping in mind that anything we make should enhance brain, memory, mood and attention - all critical to learning success... As parents, we set the standard... Food is not about filling our stomachs with whatever is at hand. It is about giving what our bodies need for optimum health and higher order thinking. What we like has nothing to do with eating. It is about what the body needs!

Every bite counts when feeding our children. Their appetites are small. With distractions and giggling in the lunchroom, we must ensure that our child eats well  and safely in as short a period of time as possible. Time and time again we are told to include raw fruits and vegetables- live enzymes-, in our diet to keep our bodies functioning at peak efficiency.

Simple, easy to make and yummy sandwiches in bite sized pieces can be made on weekends and frozen till the following week... As mentioned in Wonder(ful) Bread, sandwiches can be made to a high standard using everyday foods such as eggs, salmon, tuna and ham. Adding a healthy binding mixture –(mayonnaise, mustard, a drop of apple cider vinegar) to the drained meat-ham, salmon, or tuna- creates exciting new additions to your child’s lunch itinerary. Be mindful of lunch temperatures using a frozen pack or frozen sandwiches which will then thaw and be ready to eat.

Include herbs and spices designed to bring subtle flavour and health benefits when making sandwich fillings and other 'mixed' foods....Spices, such as turmeric(found in mustard), onion powder and herbs such as fresh dill, cilantro, parsley, green onions and/or chives, all help to provide a wealth of added health benefits to your child’s lunch.  For the adventurous child, adding dried chopped fruits such as: cranberries, raisins to the fillings can make the mundane, exciting.  

Use mayonnaise sparingly with the addition of mustard to the above spices and herbs. Keep added fats, whether it be margarine, butter or mayonnaise to an absolute minimum... All canned salmon, tuna, ham have salt added. Drain the product well. Rinse with a bit of water and drain again. Adding a bit of apple cider vinegar to the tin and draining one final time helps to remove more salt while leaving behind the healthful benefits of vinegar. Adding the mayonnaise mixture just to moisten helps to keep fat content low. (Remember, healthy breads also have incredible flavour and taste.)

The making of fruit compotes also provides yet another delicious level of nutrition, giving our children an extra boost of vitamins and minerals during their school day. Chopped fruit mixed with orange juice/lemon helps keep it fresh in the insulated lunch bag ready to eat.  

Chips, cookies or chocolate bars can be a shared, once in a while event.  Including them daily adds to the build up of deleterious substances in the body that a developing child simply does not need.  Allowing a once in a while sharing treat day helps to make lunch time at school a  fun experience for all.

It's Back to School (Again)!

As the summer winds down, our attention now turns to school and the buying frenzy that ensues with this annual event.  Last year’s inventory, it seems, is obsolete, not worthy of using, wearing or mentioning.  The closet is bare and all the personal devices we own are now obsolete.  Of course, this is not true.  Some clothing needs replacing, perhaps, and a new laptop is in order, maybe.

We live in a modern society driven by incessant advertising and a consumer mentality. No matter where we go, the media is  always there reminding us that who we are or what we have is simply not good enough.  Something newer, bolder and more up-to-date is waiting for us. We’ll be happier when we make the change.  The euphoria of the purchase is short lived, however. We finally realize that our life is still the same but now the money is gone for the needs of a family pet, household bill or groceries. We cannot afford it- now.  We just spent a lot of money on a few things that, at the time, seemed very important. 

We assess the inventory for the start of a new school year-for us and our children. Little boys, naturally, outgrow their clothing more quickly than little girls.  Clothing becomes discoloured, worn, in need of repair.  If we have spent $200 in a two hour spree on an incredible array of stuff for school, remember one thing, can we earn the same amount of money in the time we took to spend it? Naturally, the answer is no for many of us, myself included.  It is, therefore, incumbent upon us to be very careful to save in other places, cutting down on unnecessary spending in readiness for the next big spree.  We must not spend our future and our children’s future in order to satisfy a primal need now. Nothing, absolutely nothing, we could ever buy is worth placing ourselves in financial jeopardy - ever!

As a teen in the late sixties, I fell in love with a pair of expensive leather patchwork shoes while ‘window’ shopping in downtown Toronto, during a break from class. Those shoes made an impression on me, instantly. But, I could not afford them.  I was a full time student and had worked during the summer saving most of the money for my  school expenses - Ryerson tuition, textbooks, subway fare, and other incidental costs.  Part time jobs were few to non- existent.  Living at home helped greatly to reduce the costs associated with a post secondary education.  Shoes were not a priority.  So I did the smart thing: I would visit these shoes at the store, akin to visiting animals at the zoo.  Eventually these ‘visits’ helped erase the image of those shoes from my mind.  It is amazing how a simple, disciplined act can change a habit that is habitual! ... The shoes were a want, not a need... Other things were a priority.  Shoes were not!

Not giving in to buying impulses saves us money, tenfold.  We begin to establish a pattern of looking, not buying, whenever we go shopping, gaining insights into our shopping behaviour and understanding the repetitive nature of the shopping experience... It never ends... Be ever so careful when you part with your hard earned money.  The marketing machine is relentless in protecting its bottom line.  Make sure you are doing the same.

Back to school can be an exciting time. It occurs every year for many of us, for a period of time.  Then reality sets in, changing some or all the rules of the game.  Be ready with a sound budget that allows for life’s surprises. If you missed out on a bargain, you were not meant to have it.  There is tomorrow.  You will be fine. The time spent not buying is a cathartic experience.  It reminds us that our closet is full and our personal devices, O.K. -  for now, anyway.     

 

The Life and Times of a Preemie

It was our preemie’s first day at home. He weighted in at five pounds two ounces, a healthy size considering where he had begun, on March 19. He'd arrived home, one month ahead of his original due date, a remarkable achievement considering he was born over three months early. I carried him to a large window, introducing him to the clouds in the big blue sky, his first official science lesson. It was a warm sunny day. I was in awe of this tiny person we had created and Sick Kids Hospital NICU had saved. ... Now he was ours, to have and to hold. It was now May 18, 1979.

My thoughts of the future began that day. The preterm milk had helped bring him home one month early, maybe saved his life. (Nearly 25% of preemies die because of the 'death' of their intestines brought about by their early birth.(  I had learned what I could about premature birth through books, asking questions. I was an 'intern' mother now. The internet was just an idea, then, making its way into our lives.  The computers in 1979 could fill a room. Today they fit on our laps. To verify my 1979 facts on premature births, I went online before writing this story. The earliest research I could find was dated 1980. How odd.  Had Sick Kids not conducted their research prior to 1980 and not mailed their findings in a pamphlet, for the public, I would never have learned about the significance of preterm human milk, fresh, whenever possible, for our son. ... (A note of thanks was sent to Sick Kids. I was so humbled by the ‘advice’ and so grateful for the sharing of this information. Research had made a significant difference in our son’s life.)

I was now on duty round-the-clock. Positive health outcomes did not always follow early births in 1979. Our son eventually began nursing by 3 three months of age with a lot of practice and  formula supplementation. ... Bath time became another opportunity to help our baby gain weight and strength by reconnecting with his prior fluid filled world, the womb. It had been a safe, tranquil haven, rife with nutrients that had been called ‘home’ for too short a period of time. The warm water of bath time helped to mimic the pristine world of the womb, the only world he had ever known up until the shock of his early birth. ... I would spend many hours holding him, talking to him and helping him interact with his new environment. ... Then he would sleep. ... Having two large dogs in the house became an interesting observation between man and beast. A blanket for the carpeted floor became  a part of his daily exercise ‘equipment’. It would be folded and put away for  his next 'journey into space'. (Contact with animal hair etc. was minimized as his immunity had been seriously compromised by his prematurity.)

Speech therapy was begun by the age of 4, in readiness for kindergarten. Throughout this period, outdoor play with his two younger brothers helped our former preemie reach many of the speech and occupational milestones expected of him. Simple unadorned play was the order of the day.  With 3 boys, (all born 13 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks too soon, respectively.) and arriving within a four year period, life was very busy. 

Our first born now had two built in ‘home grown’ speech therapists living with him plus two furry ones. They were all his peers. He would learn about the exciting world around him from them. Their daily lives were in constant motion, from morning till night, explaining, doing, running, laughing asking questions, while talking their way into each others' hearts and minds.  The best was yet to come.

Caring for a Premature Infant

Within hours of our son’s premature birth, my body began to change.  Its metamorphosis was a strong 'painful' reminder that the most important job in caring for our son was here. ... Though our son was being hospitalized in the world renown Sick Kids Hospital NICU, in Toronto, his feeding routine was now at the top of my to-do list, my top priority, my reason for being. It was March, 1979.

The miraculous liquid my body was now producing was more than just mother’s milk.  It was an elixir. In a pamphlet published by the Toronto’s Sick Children’s Hospital Foundation, in early 1979, and delivered  by mail to our home, I soon learned the startling contribution my milk, otherwise known as preterm milk, was making for our baby.  Since that time, I have learned more about the incredible significance of  pre-term as compared to its 'cousin',  term milk.  Scientists, in the 70's had discovered that pre-term milk contained higher levels of nitrogen, an element critical for the building blocks of human growth and development.  It was the custom made food for a preemie!  The best available. The brain would get a ‘head’ start because of this boost. Preterm milk was adapting to our son's health crisis. ...This incredible research stated that fresh milk was better than frozen since  an ingredient in human milk was rendered inactive when the milk was frozen. With science as my teacher, I began in earnest, collecting and storing my milk, every two –three hours, the life-saving liquid for our baby-some frozen out of necessity, but most not. My husband would deliver milk supplies-daily- to Sick Kids, a daily exhausting  two hour commute on top of other driving  and duties he had to do. When our baby returned to his birth hospital,-  a couple of weeks later, I visited him daily, regardless of how exhausted I was, to give him a fresh supply of milk and to hold him. Holding him, touching him also brought about physiological changes in our son’s tiny body thereby helping him gain precious weight. At his lowest point, he weighed just two pounds, 12 ounces.

The realization soon hit me that our son was a fetus, developing outside the womb, the human incubator that had nurtured him for so long and then without warning had expelled him, so precipitously. He had missed out on the third trimester when all systems –skeletal, musculature, nervous- begin their journey towards maturity, strength and function. The reality that our son could die, at any moment, began to dawn on us. Would we become parents someday?  His lungs were frail and underdeveloped, requiring a respirator. The doctors worried about scar tissue developing with prolonged use.  A tube leading to his stomach fed him the vital nutrients from all sources... At his gestational age, the sucking reflex was not developed... Oxygen levels were monitored daily... Too much of the life giving gas could blind him; too little could harm him, mentally.  His prognosis two days after his birth:  10% chance of survival, gave his parents pause. With a higher than normal birth weight of three pounds, two ounces, he had at least something in his favour.

Expressing milk manually was becoming ineffective, messy and time consuming. Without the ‘help’ of a baby to produce the much needed milk, in the quantities needed, renting a machine was the next logical step, expediting the task of  producing and collecting this custom made liquid. Soon after, I discovered there was yet another machine  we could rent that could aid in our son’s transition to nursing!  Bottle feeding was easy; breastfeeding was not!   His arrival home-two months later, one month ahead of his original due date, was a cause to celebrate. It was also my birthday, a fact that  I had forgotten.  How could I remember my birthday? It was our son's birth day that was foremost on our minds.

I was now his primary caregiver, not a visitor as I had been for the past two months. His first day at home was life changing. I had an inner calm that had not manifested itself these past two months as I brought him into the house. ... I would be O.K.  Really, I would. ... I was now officially a mom...

Giving Birth to a Preemie

Our baby wasn’t due for another 13 weeks. We were first-time, late-life parents-to-be, having just completed two out of six pre-natal classes. Within the week, graduation day had arrived. I gave birth to a premature infant, weighing 3 pounds 2 ounces... The year was 1979.

I had walked into the emergency wing of our local hospital, 14 hours after the onset of labour, in quiet desperation, as the pain in my body escalated. As I entered the eerily quiet lobby of the hospital, I was naively thinking that this ‘problem’- that had begun hours ago - would go away soon. I was in a hospital now and the medical staff here would know what to do. Help was here at last!

I  had called my family doctor at 3:00 a.m. that Monday morning. A later unscheduled 10:30 a.m. appointment with him would solve everything, I thought! How naive I was! Though I was awash in excruciating pain, of undetermined origin, these markers did nothing to alert my doctor that something was amiss. Nothing in his vast medical experience seemed to raise the alarm that my pregnancy was doomed and was about to end, over three months too soon. Any intervention on his part would mask what was really happening, he remarked. What was happening was simple enough: I was in full blown labour soon to deliver a preemie. At 27 weeks gestation, the baby would not survive. It was 1979, after all! Within the hour of my arrival at hospital, our son made his debut and began life in an incubator with the gold standard of medical care available. I was so very lucky. ... The Neonatal Intensive Care Team from the world renowned Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children would arrive soon, by helicopter, to take our baby back to its famous pediatric facility. ... (I met my obstetrician, unexpectedly, that morning, after he delivered our son.)

Now i began to wonder, "Are first time mothers to be coddled or patronized, while in agonizing pain, when expecting the first time"? I was trying to be proactive though getting nowhere with a trained medical practitioner.  ... Was getting pregnant synonymous with losing your ability to think, speak or act coherently and decisively?  (The maternal brain, I have learned since, is a formidable piece of machinery)  Is searing, unbearable pain a hint that, maybe, a visit to the hospital is warranted?  When unexplainable things begin to surface during a pregnancy, should we not err on the side of caution? Of course we do, but not in my case. I was scared, in unrelenting pain and getting nowhere with my doctor, a man I had trusted for years. I was betrayed under the worse possible circumstances.

I remained in my hospital room thinking about the day’s events. I had just given birth three months early and there was no one to advise me what to do next. Premature labour had begun the night before yet nothing was done to avert  the impending disaster. What more could I have done? I had the presence of mind to stay calm and focused in the midst of mind numbing pain and do what was required of me. A life was at stake, maybe two.  Had I remained at home waiting for yet my specialist's appointment, my first with the obstetrician, our son would have been born on the kitchen floor and died and my life would have been dramatically altered that day! (Our preemie arrived 4 hours prior to that appointment.) A neighbour drove me to the hospital.

I grew up that day and was now responsible for the care, treatment and feeding of a fragile, defenseless human being whose growth and development would now continue-outside the womb. How unfair life had been to him. In the hours, days and weeks ahead, my body would begin its metamorphosis in my new role as mom. Nothing in my repertoire, however, could prepare me for what was about to unfold!

Taking care of a premature infant.....