Giving Birth to a Preemie

Our baby wasn’t due for another 13 weeks. We were first-time, late-life parents-to-be, having just completed two out of six pre-natal classes. Within the week, graduation day had arrived. I gave birth to a premature infant, weighing 3 pounds 2 ounces... The year was 1979.

I had walked into the emergency wing of our local hospital, 14 hours after the onset of labour, in quiet desperation, as the pain in my body escalated. As I entered the eerily quiet lobby of the hospital, I was naively thinking that this ‘problem’- that had begun hours ago - would go away soon. I was in a hospital now and the medical staff here would know what to do. Help was here at last!

I  had called my family doctor at 3:00 a.m. that Monday morning. A later unscheduled 10:30 a.m. appointment with him would solve everything, I thought! How naive I was! Though I was awash in excruciating pain, of undetermined origin, these markers did nothing to alert my doctor that something was amiss. Nothing in his vast medical experience seemed to raise the alarm that my pregnancy was doomed and was about to end, over three months too soon. Any intervention on his part would mask what was really happening, he remarked. What was happening was simple enough: I was in full blown labour soon to deliver a preemie. At 27 weeks gestation, the baby would not survive. It was 1979, after all! Within the hour of my arrival at hospital, our son made his debut and began life in an incubator with the gold standard of medical care available. I was so very lucky. ... The Neonatal Intensive Care Team from the world renowned Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children would arrive soon, by helicopter, to take our baby back to its famous pediatric facility. ... (I met my obstetrician, unexpectedly, that morning, after he delivered our son.)

Now i began to wonder, "Are first time mothers to be coddled or patronized, while in agonizing pain, when expecting the first time"? I was trying to be proactive though getting nowhere with a trained medical practitioner.  ... Was getting pregnant synonymous with losing your ability to think, speak or act coherently and decisively?  (The maternal brain, I have learned since, is a formidable piece of machinery)  Is searing, unbearable pain a hint that, maybe, a visit to the hospital is warranted?  When unexplainable things begin to surface during a pregnancy, should we not err on the side of caution? Of course we do, but not in my case. I was scared, in unrelenting pain and getting nowhere with my doctor, a man I had trusted for years. I was betrayed under the worse possible circumstances.

I remained in my hospital room thinking about the day’s events. I had just given birth three months early and there was no one to advise me what to do next. Premature labour had begun the night before yet nothing was done to avert  the impending disaster. What more could I have done? I had the presence of mind to stay calm and focused in the midst of mind numbing pain and do what was required of me. A life was at stake, maybe two.  Had I remained at home waiting for yet my specialist's appointment, my first with the obstetrician, our son would have been born on the kitchen floor and died and my life would have been dramatically altered that day! (Our preemie arrived 4 hours prior to that appointment.) A neighbour drove me to the hospital.

I grew up that day and was now responsible for the care, treatment and feeding of a fragile, defenseless human being whose growth and development would now continue-outside the womb. How unfair life had been to him. In the hours, days and weeks ahead, my body would begin its metamorphosis in my new role as mom. Nothing in my repertoire, however, could prepare me for what was about to unfold!

Taking care of a premature infant.....

Ice Cream and Other Tourist Traps

With the beginning of summer comes our insatiable ‘thirst’ for ice cream.  It is this frozen, sweet confection that occupies our minds when travelling with children.  Ice cream is a special treat that holds us in its grip, time after time.

Ice cream became a “hot topic” for us -two decades ago- as our family played miniature golf in the early morn of a very hot Saturday.  Though ice cream is not the antidote for thirst and heat, it would, however, fill a need for something cool, refreshing and decadent.  As my family played nearby, I noticed an ice cream stand not too far off in the distance... AH HA, treat time, I thought! No, not really, I remarked to my husband after reading what it would cost for the cheap (un-premium) brand of ice cream that was being advertised.  At $1.00 a scoop or $1.00 per popsicle plus tax- the total bill would have been ridiculous for 6 people... Our boys seemed stricken that a special treat was  now out of reach for them.  They understood, though, the concept of value for the dollar. This was not value. This was  price gouging, plain and simple!  We would have none of it.

Upon finishing the golf game, we drove to the nearest grocery store. A surprise was waiting for everyone... A purchase of Neopolitan ice cream and cones brought cheers from all as I hurriedly returned to the car with my melting purchase... How much ice cream could we eat became our mission?  Neapolitan was chosen because it was strawberry, vanilla and chocolate, fan favourites.... We now had ice cream galore and choice to match. The next dilemma: how much could each of us consume before the volatile heat of the summer’s day would melt the  frozen purchase... Could I scoop fast enough?

The 2 liter tub of ice cream was dispensed in record time. We laughed at the speed at which the cones were being consumed, after all, time was not on our side. As I scooped the frozen confection into one cone after another, I reminded everyone of  the group's directive: to eat as many ice cream cones as possible...Two hands meant two cones, I reminded them... We laughed again... The ice cream was consumed with glee by a group of hungry travellers, at a fraction of the cost of the ‘other’ ice cream and no tax!  The benefits were clear and the children learned another valuable lesson in marketing and tourist/price gouging. The customer was king!! ... (And full!)

Advertising did nothing to make us buy. The costs were too great. Any company can charge what they want in a “captive audience” environment. I would have understood the cost of the ‘original’ ice cream cones if sold - on a mountain top retreat, near a volcanic resort, on a secluded island hideaway in the middle of the ocean or on a moon base!  There are transportation costs etc. to consider. But this was a medium sized town in Ontario, Canada populated with real people visited by real people travelling with their brains. There were grocery stores that sold food and ice cream. There were choices available to us and we acted on them immediately. 

The tourist is a real person not a fictional character to be treated like a fool on a whim!...Retailers, have respect for the people who keep you in business!... Like you, we all have bills to pay. We travel on a budget, money that has been saved for a special day trip, week’s vacation or holiday to visit family etc. Creating a hostile shopping environment- for ice cream or other souvenir like products- for the travelling public will not help your bottom line, Mr. Company president. Would you or your family buy at the price you are selling to us? Let that be your guide... Our ice cream treat was a memorable event made possible by someone who dared to think ‘outside the box’! 

Red, Then P!NK

The colour red was described last week as a “traffic stopper” in our driving experience. Let us now turn our attention to pink, a very prominent colour on the music scene right now... The female mega talent known as Pink, has a hit on her hands with her latest single-...One Last Kiss. As I listen, I am immersed in a world of my own...

Music is a shared experience, not just to be played ‘in your ear’, oblivious to those around you.  It is a powerful life force that has the ability to create social change, to alter our emotional state, to empower us as we live our lives. When Pink’s newest single was played for the first time, I could not believe my ears! It reminded me of another hit, sung by the incredibly talented American Idol winner, Kelly Clarkson (...“Stronger”) Then there is Payphone by Maroon 5, another ‘what is the name of that song’ favourite that gives pleasure to so many people, including me!

As mentioned in a previous blog, music and dance have the power to empower and  enthrall children, and bully-proof them. In the final analysis, the only way to deal with bullies is to empower our children, to help them develop the inner strength and fortitude necessary to 'ignore' the bully when he/she comes comes calling.

In “A Hat, A Mat, and Music” I  presented a simple formula to introduce music in an unorthodox way into the primary at-risk classroom... Children require whole body/mind education for body/mind health leading to positive learning outcomes.  Engaging the five or six senses of the body also engages the mind in a multitude of ways for academic success. We cripple our our children when music is not treated with the same respect as are other 'academic' subjects...  Its simple inclusion creates a healthy climate for limitless learning. ... Focusing only on curriculum reduces education’s effectiveness! Let teachers decide whether today is not a good day for ‘reading’, ‘writing’ and ‘arithmetic’. Music - in all its forms - has the power to teach, engage and empower children!

My test subjects have always been our boys, now men, who at a very young age included girls in their party mix. (It was a given.) Allowing the separation of boys and girls to remain - as in all male/female households - is to handicap both sexes. The world is made up of a mix of both. To that end, both should be a part of  the early socialization process. Music can be a wonderful first step in this goal. It is truly the ultimate party mixer!

Music is my passion. It possesses the power to heal, to empower. It is self-expression at its best. (Perhaps that is why I enjoy public speaking)...Self-esteem, self-image and confidence soar when children are exposed to music early in their socialization. Music is an easy first step in equipping our little ones with the necessary tools to learn about the world around them. It helps to break down stereotypical barriers that may exist. After all, we are all the same on the ‘dance floor’...

Running The Red Light

Running the red light is a real killer. It is not a sport. It is an act of treachery!

It seems more and more drivers are taking matters into their own hands by re-writing the rules of the road and jeopardizing the lives of everyone in the process.  The red light means stop! The colour was probably chosen because it is a piercing visual reminder that you do not have the right to move- at this moment. Other traffic does! Running the red light seems to be a game for some, with dire consequences for all. Red is a primary colour-like blue and yellow. It is the granddaddy of all colours from which all other colours are created.  Yellow reminds us that red is coming, so act accordingly-stop! And green, originating from blue and yellow, tells us to go, safely.

It was Valentine’s Day- many years ago-when I came very close to becoming a traffic statistic. As I waited at the intersection, an expansive section of road with several lanes going North/South in the town in which we lived, the light turned green...  I looked left, then right... Because of the hilly configuration of the East/West section, directly in front of me, I paused for several seconds waiting for any last minute entries into the thru traffic that might suddenly appear and alter my plans to turn left. I waited. (I then looked left and right again, one final time, making sure all traffic was stopped for my entry into the intersection. I moved slowly into place to make my turn. In a flash, I braked hard, as a car containing four individuals sped by me. The speed at which the car was going indicated to me that the driver had had no intention of ever stopping at this intersection-red light or not! I had taken every precaution before attempting my left turn. My hesitation to move was a godsend. The ‘red light’ runner didn’t care. Death was waiting for me that day.

I recall the day our first born arrived. It was 1979, years prior to the Valentine’s Day near miss.  It was not a good day. Our son was not due for another three months! Yet here I was, in the early stages of labour, driving myself to an unscheduled doctor’s appointment. The pain intensified as time passed, coming in waves, as I waited to be seen by my doctor and later as I drove myself home. 

Driving back home was now almost unbearable, an almost unthinkable feat of strength. My pain threshold was being tested on a grand scale, making driving a near impossible feat. I was buckling under the pressure yet I drove home, safely, without the faintest thought of running a red light! That would have been a suicide mission, wouldn’t it have been?... One hour later our son was born!

To all who dare to ‘run the red light’, are you in labour? Then, perhaps, you have no excuse to even consider this dangerous act!... I did not!... Red is the colour of blood as well as the red light, an appropriate colour comparison considering what you are about to do!! So stop doing it!  Lives hang in the balance.

Snail Mail

Constant references to the postal system as snail mail has made this internet devotee annoyed. It is a disparaging remark  made about a public service that, for  well over a century, has delivered the mail across a global landscape. The postal service employs hundreds of thousands of men and women and has connected people from all over the globe via letters, cards and packages that would never have been received had it not been for the ‘mailman’. The postal service attests to our existence in this world.  A mailing/home address is real. A website is not! 

The  ‘new  kid on  the block’-electronic mail- is a much faster competing service that allows for the sending and receiving of messages- at the speed of sound. It is the modern age equivalent of the postal service. Yet the whole system, as wonderful as it is, can shut down suddenly without warning and leave us in the lurch. Email is dependent upon a power grid that we take for granted in this futuristic modern world in which we live.

Electronic mail is literally at your fingertips. You are now primed to connect with the world beyond your doorstep-in a heartbeat. When you live in the country, however, things can change quickly. Regardless of how high tech your system  might  be, connection with a server can be lost without notice because of trees etc.  A computer can behave erratically-as mine did a few moments ago as I wrote this-and change your plans indefinitely...Strangely prophetic, I think.  

I am from a period of time, where a handwritten letter was a cherished artifact, soon to become a piece of  your personal history, perhaps. A card, a postcard, a letter- nothing beats the real thing! And yet the mere mention of the postal service  seems to elicit a dismissive tone. It is slower than e-mail, yes. But so am I. So what? How can you compare apples and oranges, anyway? (And I love both!!)

I salute those companies that give credit to the vast numbers of us who connect via letters not e-mail: Scientific American, The Mind, and Martha Stewart’s, Living, to name a few. Many of us still want and need to connect the old way. In some cases there is no other way for us. Not everyone has an email address or wants to give it out freely... (Paul McCartney does not give his email to anyone)

Are we creating a society where only the techno savvy get to communicate with others? Choice keeps us all on our toes and not everyone owns a computer. What happens when the system shuts down because of  a widespread power grid malfunction or collapse? Do we want to put all our eggs in one basket, as they say? Some postal stations are shutting down because of reduced mail volume. Are jobs being lost? To companies who choose to do business strictly by electronic mail, you are slowly helping to dismantle the postal system, bit by bit. Naturally you need the system when it comes to delivering your products. Are you losing customers with large orders because they do not want or have e-mail? Think about it.

The internet is awesome. It has facilitated and made possible for the exchange of information in every walk of life: business, science, medicine and at home. It has made education accessible to all. It has allowed ‘TheMomsey’ to exist...But there is a down side- like all things in life. The postal system is a  part of the 21^st century. It is there for us, in all manner and when all else fails! In the end, the only thing we can truly count on to keep things moving in our society is people.