The Only Offer

That first offer could very well be the only offer! ... A friend's recent foray into house-hunting resulted in a back and forth tug of signatures and the all-important and almighty house inspection. It would seem that the sellers, being quite adamant in what they were prepared to do or not do, lost sight of the point of the exercise: a give and take, to close the deal. It was a 'my house, my rules' sort of stance... Considering there were obvious flaws with the house that should have been remediated before the property was even listed, the whole affair became more complicated and stressful with each passing day. The sale failed. ... Our friends bought elsewhere - easily - in the neighbourhood! Lesson learned: be realistic, be smart, be nice.

I was in my early twenties, in a small town, on my first teaching assignment, when our used car stopped working. We could no longer afford to fix it. We placed an ad in the newspaper, hoping for a quick sale. ...(Public transportation was non-existent so another used car was a top priority, immediately.) An offer came in at $200 less than our $600 asking price. The buyer, a gentleman battling a debilitating illness, was serious about buying our car as we were about selling it. ... Though my husband had hoped for a higher offer, I cautioned him against turning down what could very well be the only offer on the table. Who doesn't want their asking price accepted?... A 'no sale' was very imminent and an albatross could soon become an extended member of our family. ...Our car sold quickly making everyone very happy.

In today's buy and sell market, we must be ever so vigilant in thinking that our house, car, or special piece of furniture is so unique that we must not veer from our asking price. Remember, an asking price is simply our opinion on what we think the value is, sometimes overblown, or undervalued, in today's market.... Market conditions, (an intangible), can influence an object's value but also what interested parties, (a tangible), can conceivably afford. ... These have a bearing on the final offer. 

We all have something called living expenses that come first before any other frill-even the so-called buying of a house or a car can be considered. Affordability is the name of the game for both sides of the sale. The important thing to remember: things can always get out of hand. ... Selling your much cherished item for less than asking is not the worse thing that can happen.

During the heyday of rising house prices, decades ago, a house lay dormant on the market until an offer came in at around $40-$50,000 under asking. ... At this point, prices had been steadily climbing just before its customary 'correction'. Surprise! The correction started its downward spiral during the sellers turn at the 'wheel of fortune'... The above 'reasonable' offer was turned down, not signed back or anything. Simply refused.. The property languished on the market for well over a year and was finally re-listed for over $100,000 less than the original asking price: double the difference of the previous year, low ball offer.. Oh, to go back in time and re-live the moment and undo our decisions. 

It would seem that a reasonable offer is what any of us can hope for or expect. Sometimes, no offer results. Being right about our beliefs in what we are trying to sell can be very costly. Remember, we think that way for all the reasons we cite. Maybe, we are wrong in some of our thinking... The buyer is simply showing interest and hoping to get the best deal the same way we are hoping for the best deal. We are both working different sides of the same equation and hoping for the best outcome possible. How much are we prepared to lose? Being inflexible can be a costly mistake. Where house prices are concerned we are our own worst enemies, sometimes. 

Housing used to be a long-term investment - even if the appreciation of its value was low over decades. Now, we have houses being flipped quickly to garner a big chunk of money. Can we apply this analogy of getting the best deal to the choosing of our life partner? Is he tall, dark and handsome? Is she slim, gorgeous and long legged? Are we bringing as much to the table as we expect others to bring to it? If the 'merchandise' doesn't 'look' like the package we've envisioned, then  there is no deal. 

Qualities of trust, loyalty and devotion are what matter most in any relationship. (And helping out with the dishes, too.) ... Close your eyes and listen to the person who isn't your type. He or she just might be exactly what you are looking for. In a dark room, at night, while at work, in the kitchen preparing dinner, cleaning the house, during lengthy conversations on the phone or texting or emailing, we all 'look' the same. The tone of a realtionship is very important.

What we hear and feel are the most important criteria for 'closing' the relationship deal. Laying the blame of past misdeeds of former companions on the doorstep of our newest one is an unfair and misplaced indictment. If we want to close the deal, we need to be 'present' and reasonable, ever so reasonable!

The Spell of Uncommon Vegetables

“Hands off my rutabaga”, he remarked, harshly.  I backed away, slowly, as to not be noticed that another piece had been taken. ... It was leftover night and there was only enough food for one of us. I would scrounge around for something else that would nourish my soul, not necessarily my body. (“Where was the ice-cream”, I thought?) He'd had a grueling day and deserved a real meal. ...This evening's menu would include chicken cutlet, mashed potato made with goat's milk and the rutabaga, cubed and ready to go. A salad with homemade dressing would accompany it. He loved rhubarb so a dressing was made using this fruit, pureed with a few other fruits, added to balsamic vinegar, maple syrup, oil and seasonings.

Rutabaga is a family favourite, in addition to brussels sprouts, spinach, bok choy, and other lesser known and popular veggies. Containing fat soluble vitamins - (A, D, K, E,) - key nutrients for optimum human health - these uncommon vegetables are nutrient rich powerhouses, enhanced by the addition of fat. (Vit. B and C are water soluble)... Fat-free is not a good strategy and the kind of fat is what matters most. Trans fat is bad. With scrambled eggs, I sometimes add a serving of brussels sprouts, steamed lightly, just enough to take the crunch away, then flavoured with a hint of butter, maybe coconut oil and a dash of nutmeg. ... Since becoming a brussel sprouts aficionado, I have improved the cooking of these health gems. ... Leaving them whole is not my answer, I have discovered. The outside becomes overcooked while waiting for the heat to reach the center of these miniature cabbages. I now cut them in half, from top to bottom and lie them face down in the pot. Cooking time has been greatly reduced.

It is amazing how an tweak here and there can vastly improve the taste of vegetables, rarely included in our diet. Some hardy vegetables are better eaten steamed rather than raw, anyway, something to do with its raw affect on the thyroid gland. (Momsey's thyroid is such a slowpoke. Momsey is not!) ... Squash, onions, sweet potatoes and garlic are also high on my list of yummy health foods. They all add incredible flavours while satisfying my appetite and boosting immunity, all around. Momsey sometimes thinks she's had dessert. Barbecuing these vegetables, using indirect heat with a dab of coconut/olive oil and/or butter adds a new dimension of flavour when all these 'foods' are thrown together. A little always goes a long way.

My love affair with vegetables began as a child, starting with pickled hot banana peppers, part of my mother's summer canning ritual. A caraway/rye bread sandwich with slices of pickled pepper, topped any dessert back then. Along with salads, they were my comfort foods, a simple, healthier version of 'dessert'. Homemade pickles, everyone's favourite food, completed another package for me. In the last few years, I have ventured into the world of zucchini, eggplant, sweet potatoes and using red cabbage more often in salads. Making the famous sweet and sour cabbage has never been so easy. Its accompaniment to schnitzel and spaetzle is a dinner-time hit. We are what we eat so it behooves us to try new vegetables and incorporate them into our diet in as many different ways as possible. Disguising them helps us to benefit from their nutritional content as well as their taste and texture.

Lately, I've begun thinking about raw garlic, a prebiotic, - a top food flavour guru and health star - in making chocolate cake. Could that ever happen? ... If carrots and zucchini can be disguised, in cakes, then maybe, there is a way to incorporate garlic, too. Coffee liquid would need to be used to help mask the garlic's pungent flavour of course. It is worth pursuing since Momsey loves mocha chocolate cakes and garlic - not necessarily at the same time.

At the bottom of my list of rarely eaten vegetables would have to be the parsnip. Once upon a time, I made something called parsnip patties, a eerily looking burger that tasted quite unique. I had forgotten about my early experience with this unusual vegetable. Recently, I have begun to pair it with popular ones like 'bay leaves', carrots, celery and onions in making chicken soup/broth. Parsnip adds a subtle character to this 'medicinal' mixture. When these pairings are missing, there is a discernible difference in overall flavour. Fresh cilantro, parsley, dill, thyme and other herbs add fresh, unblemished flavour to your meals bringing with them a cleansing feel to eating and to the body.

Experimenting with recipes opens the door to finding new and exciting ways to introduce all vegetables into our meal time preparation. When we think of comfort foods, vegetables should be right at the top of the list. Move over ice cream, apple pie and chocolate cake.  For Momsey - rutabaga, brussel sprouts, bok choy and bean sprouts are here to stay - to comfort me, too.

Our Preemie's Miracle Machines!

My introduction into motherhood was stark and without warning. ... The year was 1979. He arrived 13 weeks too soon, with no chance of survival. ... The internet did not exist, then. We found ourselves in a medical maelstrom: trying to help save the life of our three-month-premature baby at a time when little could be done for his stage of development. His zero chance of survival, at birth, was soon upgraded to a 10% chance - two days later - when the doctors learned their new patient would be immediately receiving shipments of mother's milk - both fresh and frozen - 7 mornings a week. This elixir of life would become an awesome secret weapon in our son's arsenal of bacteria fighting tools. ...  But soon more 'help' than we could have ever imagined would arrive to assist us in our fight to keep our son alive!

Manual milk expression began in earnest, the afternoon of his birth. It was a tedious and sometimes messy labour of love, to be sure. It was also an experience of ignorance as I began to question the nurse what to do, how to do it and would I explode, somehow? (We had just begun prenatal classes, the week prior.) ... She helped me with the basics and reassured me that I was not at risk of exploding! ...  Warm cloths would help release the pressure and the milk, the creamy, nutrient rich food my body was producing immediately after his birth. We were  part of a grandiose team effort.... From the beginning, milk production was able to keep pace with the dietary needs of our three pound two ounce preemie, whose weight  had dropped to two pounds twelve ounces, days later. It was easy to give him what he needed, though collecting it was sometimes a challenge. ... Using a hand held plastic 'horn' like tool, I collected, dutifully, round the clock and stored the milk in the fridge for immediate use; the freezer, for any excess. (Human milk's 'shelf' life was poor.) While in hospital our son grew one ounce per day.

Arriving home two months later, our son would begin to gain valuable ounces. His nutritional demands, though, began to outpace my ability to accommodate his burgeoning weight status. (Formula supplementation was added as needed) Though he was now home, more relaxed, in a less fretful state and in a more stress free environment, he still could not get the 'knack' of nursing. The 'latching' technique was unfamiliar to him. He had grown used to feeding the easy way, using the bottle with its familiar rubber nipple. Whenever I tried introducing him to the 'nursing technique', he would struggle to latch on. It was not good. If he wasn't able to feed directly from me, easily, then I simply continued as before: collecting and storing the milk in bottles - as I had for the past two months while he lay in hospital. ...

The curse of all premature babies, especially male preemies, was the bacterial army invading their digestive tract, slowly destroying the linings of this vast food delivery network. .(Mom's milk was the key to battling these internal diseases, I learned only two years ago.) ... I contacted the La Leche League, in 1979, an organization for nursing moms, for advice...It was here that I would discover the existence of two miracle machines that would literally change our lives overnight! The complete feeding routine would be facilitated in two dramatic ways. ...One machine would literally empty the milk ducts in record time while the other machine would facilitate the nursing technique for our son, as I held him close. ... Results were immediate and incredible!. Teaching him on my own would have proved a lengthy trial and futile, at best, frustrating him further and reducing milk production to perilous levels. These new methods were simple to use and produced excellent results, each and every time. ...We rented these miracle machines for as long as was needed. ... (Perfection never looked so good!) ...  Gaining weight was critical to our son's health and strength. ...  Since his sucking reflex was still immature and underdeveloped, the one machine, rented for him, helped our baby gain valuable 'work' experience. By 4 months of age, he was able to nurse on his own, a remarkable learning accomplishment, considering the feeding struggles he had endured. ... Partnering with a machine, I had never heard of, to help teach our son how to breastfeed succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. ... The more frequently he nursed, the more milk was produced and the stronger he became. Life settled into a wonderful routine.

Our first-born was nearly five months old when the milk supply dried up. A second preemie was on his way. Though our second child would 'attempt' to assert his independence by 5 months gestation, he remained sequestered, with medical intervention, until birth, arriving one month early. Since I was a poor candidate for pregnancy, we did not wait. Our third child was born nearly two years later, 6 weeks early. ...

Our dogged determination to do what was necessary for our first born preemie and the lengths we went to help him survive, helped pave the way for our sons' own focused learning journeys, in years to come. We did what we had to do! Freedom never tasted so good!

"The Night The World Exploded"

The year was 1957 when The Night the World Exploded was released. This science fiction thriller, depicting civilization on the brink of extinction from worldwide earthquakes, was one of many science- based motion pictures of that era. ... A scene in the movie shows an 'electrodata machine that thinks like a brain' occupying a whole room where scientists are working. This chilling moment seemed to foretell of greater things to come. Today, our modern day 'electrodata machine' is called a desktop computer and is able to store, to memory, millions of pieces of data. Imagine, the computer was coming of age in an original 'old' motion picture from the golden age of Hollywood - over 60 years ago! ... How prophetic. ... Hollywood and science, it would seem, are bankable stars, an unbeatable combination, in teaching us about the future. ...  

Are today's movies reliable delivery systems of scientific information? ... As they entertain us, are they also portraying the endless possibilities that exist for us, too?... I was intrigued by the words and wisdom in The Night the World Exploded, whose simple dialogue provided insights into the earth's changing status - 60 years ago! ... As the movie unfolds, a scientist remarks, “We've mistreated the earth so long it's amazing it has lasted this long”. Today, we have documentaries that have put this theory to the test, in many different treatises, to see what would happen to civilization, if man's basic 'survival' elements - clean water, sunlight, food sources and heat- changed dramatically. ... Near the end of the movie, in a scene reminiscent of many in science fiction movies, a law enforcement officer remarks, “It's dangerous living today”. after being warned that volunteering to help these scientists might be risky to his life. ... It seems that movies from the 50's, whose Hollywood-style special effects are primitive by today's standards, were still credible scientific vehicles, then, giving us a taste of what science- disguised as mother nature - had in mind for us down the road. ... 

Many of today's big screen sci-fi thrillers, television documentaries and series hypothesize, then give credence to the creative ideas/processes of those silly motion picture ideas of Hollywood's golden age. ... .. Movies from the 50's such as Invasion of the Body Snatchers, War of the Worlds, and an all time family favourite, Creature From the Black Lagoon gave audiences suspense filled action throughout while introducing the audience to yet another layer of the absurd or unbelievable, in science. In the recent sci-fi thriller, War of the Worlds, starring Tom Cruise, an incredible adaptation of the original was created. ... In this newer version, a more futuristic format with more frightening implications takes the audience to a place where man is no longer master of his own fate and is now simply prey for this new predatorial life form-from another planet.----Then we have Jurassic Park, the gold standard of all things 'science'. ...What more can be said here?

There are lessons to be learned when we watch movies from the past. ...I was a little girl when movie characters brought the realm and realism of science fiction and all other genres into my very small world. ..There was horror, mystery/suspense, romance and comedy. ... Mature stars, such as Claude Rains, Lon Chaney, Lauren Bacall, Cary Grant, Lucille Ball, Humphrey Bogart, and Brian Donlevy, brought the audience incredible plot lines delivered with spot-on dialogue to match, in clear, concise tones in recognizable voices. The scripts/plot lines of a bygone era brought us entertainment in all forms. For me, the magic was always in the actors' dialogue. ... The words meant something as they moved the action. Today, not all movies are for 'family' viewing. And why are some forms of dialogue so painful to hear? What is the point other than to embarrass and restrict the younger 'patrons of the arts' from participating? 

In movies' golden age, character development seemed to matter. Dialogue mattered more. The people- otherwise known as actors - delivered the plotlines, crisply, thoughtfully and with integrity. ... All movies were for family viewing. ...We may laugh at old movies' primitive style but many of today's big screen wonders have been re-imagined on the backs of those movies from the golden age of Hollywood. ... Perhaps we rely too much on the magic of computer graphics, special effects and other incredible feats of mechanical and artistic genius, to the extreme, to bring realism to the audiences today. ...

I am thrilled to be able to revisit movies from today's recent past as well as from the golden age of Hollywood. I am drawn to the savvy 'literary' content, believable plots and plausible endings. Today, I watched an 'old' 1984 movie, “Beverly Hills Cop” starring Eddie Murphy. I laughed as I listened and worked nearby. The movie is timeless. Now, that's entertainment!