The First Anniversary of The Momsey Blog

It is March 22^nd 2013, the first anniversary of TheMomsey Blog. ... This past year, I have written about many things: food, music, dancing, Special Education, health, premature infants, family pets, raising boys and protecting the family’s hard earned $, topics near and dear to me.  ...I have observed our sons grow into caring men. The presence of dogs in their lives has made them who they are. ...  "Puppy Boy", our 13 ½ year old Yellow Retriever,  died shortly after Christmas.  (The Pharmaceutical Giant in the Kitchen). We cried and we mourned.  (I miss him so much and wish I could have done more!). .. It was a silent death, surrounded by the profound love of 7 people and an intensity of spirit reserved only for those who have left their mark on those left behind. (His ‘other’  family has looked for him, continually)  He died unexpectedly and quietly.  It was odd how sweet and fruity he smelled near death... His companionship and love made us all more humble and grateful because he was simply a joyful presence in our lives. He was  truly the best!

Nothing is more important than love. ... Nothing. ... It is a quality that guides us, helps us in our decision making and keeps us full when we are hungry, alone, lonely. ...  As a young girl, I knew an education was an important life altering series of events towards a rich and fulfilling life. I did not go looking for “Mr. Right”. “Mr. Nice" was just fine.  Nothing was ever easy.  Important things rarely are.  Money was earned or there wasn’t any. Math was a fun, enjoyable subject not to be feared- more fun than shopping and I have loved it ever since my grade three ‘D’ or ‘E’ in ‘arithmetic’ and the “can do better” comment of my grade three teacher.  

I was born a girl and have never forgotten the things that made me one: a good hair cut, make up, keeping my skin healthy, comfy stylish shoes, feelings and boys. Funny, though, along the way I have become part male, part dog, and little bit cat, too, as well as female.   (I am the whole package-only not that package.)   We all need a little understanding, at times.

My pets make me sparkle. (Free Kittens, Puppies for Sale-2012) Their entry into our lives-expected and unexpected- were gifts to us.  Then there is our kitty cat about which I have written. She was an unexpected addition to our jungle family.  I love her to pieces but worry about her, now 10 years old. ... She is on a special diet because she has hyperthyroidism, a serious affliction, not to be taken lightly- And we don’t. (Terrible things can happen to cats with an untreated thyroid condition.)   Our little one now eats a specially formulated thyroid cat food, both wet and dry, to address this condition and others.   The special food was 10 years in development and available for the first time last Fall. ... (I thank Hills for that!)   Other treatment options were tried but proved futile. .... Drugs can be so very wrong, at times. The Hills food has saved her life. (Her doctor has been incredible throughout this year long ordeal)   I  gently massage my precious little girl daily to lessen her stress and help her function more calmly and amiably in her alien world.  Her view of it has always been somewhat skewed, I think, because she has no whiskers. They broke off in the -25 degree weather-as she lay on the shoulder of  the road- the day we met.  She was only ten weeks old!! ... (It was a Barbaric Way to Die-5/2012) 

I will be writing more about Special Education because today, more than ever, we need to get it right and right now!! The world is on our doorstep. It is both scary and wonderful.  A paperless society is a bad idea, a very bad idea! ...  For a special needs child, waiting to be assessed is too little too late. Is the elementary school  curriculum somewhat out dated?  ... Let teachers do their jobs while, we, parents, do ours: sending our child to school ready to work.  Simple strategies for incredible outcomes!  (A Hat, A Mat and Music -5/2012)..... (Imagine-5/2012)  And finally, be ever so careful spending your hard earned-after tax money. Protect it fiercely.  You will never get it back! The Momsey Blog  continues.

In-laws Are People,Too!

The negative image of in-laws is timeless.  As a daughter-in-law, once upon a time, I could never imagine coming between my husband’s mother and my husband. Controlling other people’s lives is a lot of work, effort and planning and demeaning to all. ...   Who has that kind of time?   ... (I had better things to do that usually involved special education/children and pets.)

For some, being an in-law is all-consuming, an on-going pursuit in trying to control the life of another person -usually, an adult son or daughter- that leaves little time for living one's own life to the fullest. It is a complex world being created that is detrimental to emotional and physical health and burdens everyone around you.  (Stress and turmoil will come your way when you least expect it.)

Two years ago I became a mother-in-law. Nothing had changed between my new ‘daughter’ and me in our new roles.  Why would it? How could it?  We got along famously before. Why would our new status change what we felt or how we treated each other now? We acted like best friends.  ...  Her family felt the same about her husband, our son and theirs.

All the negative stereotypes about the infamous mother-in -law were wonderfully and hilariously depicted in the hit movie “Monster-in-Law” starring Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda. Jane was the soon to be mother-in-law trying desperately to breakup her son’s engagement to a painter, played by Ms. Lopez. Monster-in-Law  was a movie that embellished the reality of the lives of in-laws, I’m sure..  The movie also helped to show the, sometimes, tenuous, tension-riddled state(usually of our own making) some of us enter into when our children marry.. ... (Keep things simple. Reduce the stress.) ...Becoming an in-law is simply a new stage of life for all. The adult child now has someone else to worry and care about in his new role as husband/wife. ...  As parents we cannot be expected to always fill the void in our adult child’s life.

As an in-law, our son has the best of two worlds: his family and his wife’s family.  Sharing the joy and the sorrow, now in a formal way, with a new family when our children marry is a good thing, a very good thing.  If we have done a good job of parenting our children, then their choice of mate must be an equitable match in all the ways that matter.

Last year, my husband and I travelled, by car, to the United States with our son’s ‘in-laws’, our new daughter’s parents. We laughed all the way there and all the way back. When decisions had to be made, those in the  front seat made them.  ..  Those in the backseat were simply supporting cast members, to be called upon if needed. We all had a great time and have enjoyed spending time together and acting up, on an few occasions, ever since..  

Respecting the customs and traditions of all concerned in this new family connection is important. But, sometimes, there is a conflict in scheduling holidays and other noteworthy events. Back down,  let the dust settle and realize how wonderful these in-laws are in your life.  It is the duty of our married adult children to decide what to do. ...(Both families are important)  ... Pressuring our children to do our bidding serves no useful purpose. It just creates undue stress in everyone’s life. It is bad form!  ...  When our child marries, it is a time to rejoice.  New people have now been added to our family. ...  More fun awaits!    

 

Tutoring and Art, An Easy Alliance

The dismantling of Arts programs in elementary schools is a scary idea. It is through this medium of self expression, discovery and talent that children begin to view themselves and the world around them in a healthy positive way. ... It is the easiest and best way to engage a child, lost-temporarily- in the academic world of school.

While a parent tutor in a reading program in the Spring of 1994, I began to realize the ease and importance of including The Arts to help bridge the gap between reading and learning...  I was assigned one student, but requested four more.  (One child was gifted, on the opposite side of the reading spectrum in my group of students.)  I used Mary’s office during this remedial time, tutoring each child individually during the week. ....(The Puzzle & The Poem1/2013), (Two Second Rule-12/2012)

As I read to one child, one afternoon, I slowly realized that he was not listening, not interested in what this stranger had to say.  I closed the book then asked him his name. I began to use pipe cleaners to illustrate his name, ‘Johnny,’ in an effort to get his attention, to bridge our reading time together. ... He seemed to enjoy seeing his name in ‘bright lights’. The conversation continued while pipe cleaners assumed their rightful place, as a tool to help him engage with me, words and his surroundings.

The following week, with the help of our youngest son, a grade 7 student, at the time, and emerging artist at the school, a morning art workshop was arranged with three of ‘my students', including the gifted student but most importantly, 'Johnny’.  Our son had an illustrious background in the arts, winning accolades and a few contests over the years with his artistry and uncanny talent in sculpting, animation, animal portraits. .... He volunteered to help in the library, humbled by the request to teach a few students the ‘how to’ of drawing.  

The students learned, in a simple,easy 3-step process, how to draw the legendary dinosaur, the familiar mouse and one other character. In quick fashion, they soon realized their hidden talents. (Permission had been granted by all teachers affected). ...I watched, amazed at the ease of instruction, attention, and interaction among all participants. The results were incredible drawings created by each child in one short art lesson. ...Their excitement and smiles said it all as they left the library with their artwork to return to class.

One picture, belonging to ‘Johnny’, piqued my interest, though. ... I had to check. ... Upon returning home, I perused the file of artwork, spanning several years, our son, (now interim art teacher) had ammassed. ....   One picture stood out in its detail, familiarity and colourful display: a complex drawing our son had created in grade two. ... Johnny’s drawing- similar in content, stood out, in stark contrast, to our son’s drawing on file. ....  Johnny, a grade one student, had created a picture of equal value during the library 'art workshop'. ... Real talent separated by one year, yet Johnny, the child with a  seeming more advanced art skill, had  been  declared a non-reader and in need of reading help. (Sometimes, a child attaches more significance to more fun and immediate pursuits and sometimes, reading is not one of them.) We must pay attention to the whole child.

Labelling a child weak in reading is more of a barrier to learning than the actual subject in which the child is weak. We are all weak in something.  .. Integrating The Arts, in all ways, at the beginning of the elementary school curriculum will go far in strengthening a child’s focus, self-esteem and motivation for learning. ... Leave the label on the jar!  Long live the Arts and Reading!!