The negative image of in-laws is timeless. As a daughter-in-law, once upon a time, I
could never imagine coming between my husband’s mother and my husband.
Controlling other people’s lives is a lot of work, effort and planning and
demeaning to all. ... Who has that kind
of time? ... (I had better things to do
that usually involved special education/children and pets.)
For some, being an in-law is all-consuming, an on-going pursuit in trying to control the life of
another person -usually, an adult son or daughter- that leaves little time for living one's own life to the fullest. It is a complex world being created that is detrimental to emotional and physical health and burdens everyone around you. (Stress and turmoil will come your way when you least expect it.)
Two years ago I became a mother-in-law. Nothing had changed
between my new ‘daughter’ and me in our new roles. Why would it? How could it? We got along famously before. Why would our
new status change what we felt or how we treated each other now? We acted like
best friends. ... Her family felt the same about her husband, our son and theirs.
All the negative stereotypes about the infamous mother-in
-law were wonderfully and hilariously depicted in the hit movie “Monster-in-Law” starring Jennifer Lopez
and Jane Fonda. Jane was the soon to be mother-in-law trying desperately to
breakup her son’s engagement to a painter, played by Ms. Lopez. Monster-in-Law was a movie that embellished the reality of
the lives of in-laws, I’m sure.. The
movie also helped to show the, sometimes, tenuous, tension-riddled state(usually of our own making) some
of us enter into when our children marry.. ... (Keep
things simple. Reduce the stress.) ...Becoming an in-law is simply a new stage of life for all. The
adult child now has someone else to worry and care about in his new role as
husband/wife. ... As parents we cannot be
expected to always fill the void in our adult child’s life.
As an in-law, our son has the best of two worlds: his family and his wife’s family. Sharing the joy and the sorrow, now in a formal way, with a new family when our children marry is a good thing, a very good thing. If we have done a good job of parenting our children, then their choice of mate must be an equitable match in all the ways that matter.
As an in-law, our son has the best of two worlds: his family and his wife’s family. Sharing the joy and the sorrow, now in a formal way, with a new family when our children marry is a good thing, a very good thing. If we have done a good job of parenting our children, then their choice of mate must be an equitable match in all the ways that matter.
Last year, my husband and I travelled, by car, to the United
States with our son’s ‘in-laws’, our new daughter’s parents. We laughed all the
way there and all the way back. When decisions had to be made, those in the front seat made them. .. Those in the backseat were simply supporting
cast members, to be called upon if needed. We all had a great time and have
enjoyed spending time together and acting up, on an few occasions, ever since..
Respecting the customs and traditions of all concerned in
this new family connection is important. But, sometimes, there is a conflict in
scheduling holidays and other noteworthy events. Back down, let the dust
settle and realize how wonderful these in-laws are in your life. It is the duty of our married adult children
to decide what to do. ...(Both families are important) ... Pressuring our children to do our bidding serves no useful
purpose. It just creates undue stress in everyone’s life. It is bad form! ... When our child marries, it is a time to
rejoice. New people have now been added
to our family. ... More fun awaits!
No comments:
Post a Comment