The love in my life died in February of this year. She was
my 'just a cat', a term often used to describe cats as life's greatest annoyances and mistakes. (This blog is being repeated from that earlier time.) Her daily perilous drop in weight, then, from her evil hyperthyroid disease coupled with issues of
internal bleeding - gums and bladder,- dramatic loss of precious
fatty tissue and potassium while losing valuable body temperature
made my decision an 'easy' one. Her doctor's look, that painful morning, ended any optimism I had.
That morning had begun as usual with
her jump on to the floor looking for fresh water, contained in two ceramic
bowls. A bowl of the Greek yogurt that usually started her day
appeared. Her habit of moving these bowls while testing the water with her
paw made it a messy place, quite often. Her stainless steel bowl
had been replaced with a new ceramic 'sink', an immovable heavy container. She drank often and this I knew was not
good. Her night time ritual of munching on her prescribed dry food
always gave me hope. But recently she took too long to eat her soft foods and
it seemed to end up in her water, it seemed, hence another round of ongoing
fresh cold water, otherwise known as room service. A long walk to the
'toilette' to see her dad, that sad morning, was a peaceful end to a miraculous love story.
I miss terribly.
From the beginning, Tiggy had a
fighting spirit. That quality made her suffering look like another
challenge in her life. In the end, her tenacity was replaced by the
suffering I could see. We could no longer hope for a positive
outcome. Her meds had become a burden to administer. She could not
swallow easily. Her cloudy water bowls gave clear evidence to that.
Her body was a skeletal frame with a thin layer of skin and soft fur enveloping
it. She had stamina so characteristic of my family. She'd earned the
right to die.
My life now has a chunk missing from
it. After finding her 16 years earlier, on the shoulder, in -25
weather, my life would never be the same. I was about to fall in love
with a snappy little girl. She had 'spoken' to me that frigidly cold
morning. I looked up and there she was. I had a duty to her.
How
could anyone do such a thing? But the web is full of horrible people
doing all sorts of despicable things to oh so innocent animals. The
online world attests to the horrors of animal abuse. Our Tiggy was
found, just in time. She had spoken to me half an hour before she
would have died. I listened and a love story began.
Over the years, she would enter the
room of our two retriever dogs only to be greeted by a cacophony of
jumps and barks. Her visits seemed to say, “ I live upstairs guys.
Would you like to play with me.” Not really they seemed to say. ...
Occasionally, she would linger, then sneak to drink from their large
water bowl, the size of a small sink, big enough in which to bathe.
Was it better? Comparisons were important to her. She ran outside,
one morning, then was noticed, hours later, on the kitchen balcony. I
remembered thinking how beautiful this stray was until I noticed she
was ours not an intruder. Upon opening the door to let her in, she
ran upstairs to the place she'd called home for years. Outside was
better from a safe distance, she soon realized.
In her later years, we'd meet and nap
together in her room on a bunk bed. She welcomed the company. I
needed her, too! She'd sleep in the crook of my knees and stay there
till it was time for me to go. She liked it that way. Resting her
small head near the quartz lamp, near my computer station, seemed to make her feel safe, warm and secure, too. I liked it. A
magnet cover beneath her special bed helped healing. All in all,
everything humanely possible that was available and made sense, was
tried. Food was always number one! My 'daughter' deserved that much.
Tiggy's entry into life was a loathsome
event. But she would leave it surrounded by love, all around. Someone
had hated this innocent newborn, weighing a pound or two, that
fateful -25 morning. Humanity was on show that day - from both sides.
Thankfully, I won that debate! My precious little pea is gone but never to be
forgotten. How I miss her so! My heart aches.
