Falling All Over the Place

Falling can be a dangerous thing. Over the years this miscalculation of distance, height, ground condition and simple misstep has given me much to reflect on and be thankful for. I did not break a leg, ankle wrist or arm.

My first time at unrehearsed air dancing occurred as I climbed on to our ceramic 50's stove while trying to clean behind the refrigerator beside it. I stepped onto what I thought was a secure step stool. When it collapsed, I tumbled onto the floor, rather gracefully, considering. ... The harshness of this maneuver left 4 scars on my wrist, a reminder of my first foray into skydiving.

From there, I moved onto a more rigorous training program of falling on lightly dusted ice. Not realizing I was walking on thin ice, I soon felt the wrenching pain of my leg muscle as it made contact with the cold, hard ground underneath. Gravity was my enemy. ... Then there was my slip and slide glide down two steps into a room. Gracefully walking into the room, I realized very quickly the ease of a nightgown attaching itself to the inside of a slipper as I carried a small glass of juice. Down I went. The mess was around me but, thankfully, it was not me. The glass remained still clutched in my hand, though half of its contents were spread every which way. The cleanup began.

One morning as I began healing from my two month exposure to the drug Fosamax, (a drug for bone density), I slid down a flight of stairs. It seemed comical at the time. What purpose is served feeling sorry for oneself? It happened. It's over and I'm alive- two things in my favour. As I sat there, I had hoped that nothing was broken. I stood up, grateful for the sensation of pain that was present but did not envelope me. I sat on the floor for awhile before trying to stand up. Everything still worked! With a diagnosis of osteoporosis, many years ago, I wondered that if I moved would something crack under the weight of my body? I waited a bit, laughing again at this latest attempt to fly. Would my body react to my laughing by signalling the brain that this old lady was quackers, laughing and not crying out in pain? I got up, ever so grateful that I was able to move, bend and clean up after our dogs and cat. ... Some things just seem to cry out 'gratitude'.


I worried about bruising. So, I upped the vitamin C 'dose' to include more freshly squeezed grapefruit/orange juice combo. I paid attention to my thoughts. I had read that the body's reaction to illness, pain, old age and injury can, to a certain degree, depend upon how we view these health transgressions at the time of their occurrence and the remedial action taken. Pity parties are self indulgent. So I laughed, hoping my body and brain would join me and send the right 'armies' to help me heal. I think it worked. ...Since that time, I have fallen, tripped here and there, but managed to regain my equilibrium. Am I testing my pain thresh hold? I need to walk slower and continue with my all manner of 'dancing'. Keeping flexible, agile with a positive attitude helps in the healing when any fall occurs.

The greatest health mishap for me, though, occurred several years ago when I slipped in the kitchen while holding a pot of boiling water and pasta. (Did the hot pasta cushion the atrocity as the contents spilled over my upper body?) Aloe Vera 'juice' from a plant, nearby, helped to soothe the pain and the burn's physical assault on my skin. ... A visit to an emergency health clinic the next day was planned. The following day, after a change in my burn's status, I visited the emergency department of our local hospital where treatment was administered to my 2^nd degree burns. Finally, the healing had begun.

Through this latest health mishap, I laughed whenever recalling this dreaded event. That evening, phone calls came from each of our three sons, enquiring about my health status. “Is Freddy Kruger there?' “May I speak to Freddy?” My skin seemed to be wrapped very tightly around my fingers and forearm. These observations seemed to figure into their comical spin on my burn injury. I laughed and laughed. Why not? (The benefits of laughter on mental health and healing are well known.) Our sons' concerns for their mother was quite funny and since I was simply in pain, laughing seemed to be the only treatment option left open to me.

Momsey's Daycare: An Unusual Kind of Place. ...

The children arrive at momsey's daycare school. No agency can do better than what momsey can do. Momsey is an old lady because her birth date tells her so. Too bad. ... She is more than that number. ... Momsey can be many things: hot, funny, smart ( many times) and assertive ("Drop it, Mr. Wiggles. That is not food.")

Today will be another day of learning. Momsey has much to experience in this category. You will show her, little ones. ... “We will see what dogs can do when they want to have fun. Exercise is very important for them as well as us. ” Water is another important food to keep the animals hydrated and healthy, especially in hot weather. They overheat very quickly, They perspire through their mouths.” ... Let us move to the living room where more fun happens. We are going to build a castle, a bridge or a shopping mall, maybe, all three. "Do we have enough blocks?"  Here are the unpainted wooden blocks from which to choose. There are short ones, long ones, square ones, triangular shaped ones and round ones. Which ones do you need? Let's start. For silly's sake, we will also stack wooden cubes with numbers and letters all around to see how tall the wooden tower can become before it falls down. ...We must be ever so careful and quiet, though, as we place one cube on top of another. The slightest misstep by our hands, even our breath, may knock the tower down. I'm playing, too. Sometimes, the cube must be placed ever so gently to the left or to the right, on top of the lower one, to ensure the tower will stand as straight as possible. Sometimes, gravity takes over and the whole thing falls down. We laugh ourselves silly. ...  Let's do it again and again.

Reading time can begin with picture books, books with lovely drawings of animals, people, things, places and nature. Let's sit on the floor. What do you see? What story will you tell me, today?  I think tomorrow's story will be different. What is the boy/ girl thinking? Can you hear anything? What is it? Why did the dog run over there? Tell us what you know from your story.. The next book is another exciting book about people in many places doing many things. Here it goes. I especially like The Big Red Dog. Then there is the book about Grover, the muppet, everyone loves. Bring your favourite book to daycare, tomorrow, for me, so that I may read it to the group.... I love reading, do you?

Snack time has arrived. Your little bodies need the proper fuel to grow, live and learn. Simple foods for little growing bodies.. I know it is only 10:30 a.m. But I call it lunch. Why not? The sooner your daily food needs are met, the quicker we can indulge in other foods, not necessarily included on the food guide. ...  (Momsey will decide, after consulting with your mom and dad). ... (With our own boys, lunch always began when they got hungry, a few hours after breakfast. ...Cookies and milk came later, if at all. ... Even though they were all preemies with low birth weights, they grew up to be strong, healthy men). ...We'll listen to what is called 'easy listening music until nap time. ... It seems right about now. (Sleep helps  the young body and mind prepare for growing and learning) ...If you are hungry what you eat must be serious food, not silly food. (Filling foods not 'fill in' foods are what matter.) One of our boys' favourite was grilled cheese sandwiches. I now use cheese blocks and slice what I need to make them. Inside I add sliced onion or some other green vegetable. When it all heats up, it tastes great. Here's the organic ketchup. There's milk, juice to drink. Yum. Then, there is macaroni and cheese. Even a simple departure from the norm can be yummy. (Adding grated cheese, milk(coconut milk, perhaps) can enliven the flavour for children and introduce them to something different. Soft fruit follows. Supervision when eating is an absolute must.

We will now go outside to play. Fresh air is important, too. Let's look for dinosaurs. Why don't we find them? Explain to me, please. I do not understand. (The explanations are so fascinating.) Back into the house we go to play some more and, maybe, have a cookie,  some fruit or chocolate. (Supper is hours away yet.) What a nice treat. For tomorrow, we'll make perogies, pretzels, or whatever seems easy for us. For now, there is so much to do, see and touch. Let's talk to the dogs and see how their day went. Maybe the time is right for drawing or colouring. Making a circle free hand is the hardest first step in becoming an artist. Let's see how good we are. Your mom and dad are here. Let's get dressed so they do not have to wait too long. They must be so tired working all day long. At least, though, they do not have to worry about momsey's daycare. She is strict where play-time, eating/washing hands and safety are concerned. Tomorrow, maybe, we will find those dinosaurs. Goodbye children. The dancing will have to wait. We did too many other things, today.

Today's Daycare Crisis: Possible Solutions

Today's daycare dilemma, in Canada, in particular, has reached an unprecedented crisis point. In Toronto alone, with a population of several million, waiting lists for licensed day care facilities grow longer each day, with no end in sight. Parents are now are faced with the wrenching decision of what to do. At the basis of any daycare arrangement is the absolute trust  you give to another person to care for your child. Relinquishing this control is the most difficult challenge of all.

The decision to stay home is not an easy one but where our children are concerned, it is a no-contest. Thirty five years ago, I was a stay-at-home mom to a special needs baby, then two more, in the next two years. With a husband who travelled a lot, back then, the decision was a straight forward, out of necessity one, for our family. Every daycare decision is a personal one and one that is based upon trust. (Finding pet care solutions could also follow a similar plan.)

Some possible day care solutions:

A)... Find a trusted person/family in your neighbourhood, whose environment and family values mesh with yours, as closely as possible. This route has been the most travelled one for parents, for decades, after ruling out trusted family members such as parents, grandparents or sisters. (aunts) Sadly, not all of us have extended family capable of taking care of our young children. Leave nothing to chance. (If something feels wrong, time to move on to another selection. With pets or children, there are no second chances.)


B)... Bartering for services rendered. Instead of paying for 'babysitting', a method of exchanging product for services rendered to eliminate the need for $. You have something the babysitter requires on an ongoing basis (Teaching?, accounting?, sewing?) or you posses a skill such as quilting that would translate into blanket, linens or other products, all to be negotiated, on a per need basis. Anything is possible. Finding someone in your neighbourhood who loves children is the first order of the day.

C)... In the work place, employees have young children and some are expectant parents. A gathering in the conference room for a 'meet and greet' of interested parents, who live in your neighbourhood, to determine if basic criteria can be met as to the suitability of parents to care for each other's children- short term.. ... A rotating schedule of parenting could be devised with employer's input. ... (Companies need to realize, very quickly, that their very existence is dependent upon  people and that these great people have children who need the best people to care for them!.)....Every fourth or fifth week, it could be your turn to care for children- assigned you-in your home- for one week.(No more than 3 per adult caregiver, in this scenario) ... Could this eliminate the babysitting cost for you? Could this help in obtaining day care, so urgently needed? Could there be a skype room for check-ins whenever a parent needed to see what was happening, at that moment, with his child in the employee's home? (Of course, on-site day care might be more preferable)


D)... A Fostering plan could be another way of caring for your child. Meeting older parents whose children are grown, with children of their own. Real life grandparents might love to parent your child, part-time, full-time, on a temporary basis, near your home, while you attend to work or complete your degree. For short duration, finding older, experienced parents might be a great support network for you and your family. To reciprocate you could help them out by taking them shopping on weekends, inviting them on family vacation as you build a new relationship. Loving people simply love.

E)... This is the skype plan. When day care, close to home, is unavailable, it might be time to go beyond the scope of what daycare should be in today's modern times. Would your baby benefit from being left with another family, outside your area, for short periods of time? Skype would be a must-have tool, thus enabling parents to see and talk to their child, on an ongoing basis. A thorough check of the fostering family would be needed, of course, involving your own network of family and friends as support. (Barbecues, dinners and stay-overs would help in determining suitability of families chosen). Today, there are limited opportunities to connect with people who want to give love and support to growing families....


Options to care for society's children should not be left strictly to government. Moms and dads know a thing or two. A broader scope of daycare choices could be the new order for children and pets, too.. ....Next... momsey's daycare scenario, a different kind of day...

'Reflections on My Adorable, Special Companions'...

“Come here, little man”, I remarked, as he sat in his cage, the door always open for his 'viewing' enjoyment. This refuge, from the outside world, helped him see life more clearly as he sat inside patiently wondering, what's next? ...   He was learning very quickly. ... It was a quick study in human and animal behaviour. We looked at each other. His piercing green eyes stared at me, ever so sweetly. He was our precious little boy, the newest member of our family unit. He seemed human, oh so human. 

His cage was the biggest on the retail market, when we bought it, decades ago. It had to be for this yellow lovable retriever. The next size up would have probably suited a miniature pony but we had a retriever, not a pony. ...  (His love affair with his cage is understandable. It is the place he calls home, a quiet place for timeouts (and there are so many, understandably) from the chewing carousal of life...

Reclining on his folded comforter and another 'vintage' blanket from a former puppy, the 'Wiggler', our Mr. Wiggles, curls up and cuddles with this comfy 'home' away from home. It is his special place, late at night. ... His new bed is wonderful. But for now, his cage is his 'blankie'. His beautiful face is a composite riddle, this young male of ours, a mix of warmth, exuding love and unending questions. ... He is ever so inquisitive, a unique spice blend of happy, calm and excitement. ... When Mall Cop visits his diminuitive terrier cousin it is a relationship of opposites. In one corner, we have Mr. Wiggles, the lovable chewing machine, whose internal apparatus is at the ready to gnaw the edible and non-edible alike and wiggling to the absurd. ... In the other corner, you have lovable Mall Cop whose initial quiet, 'leave me alone, kid' demeanour begs simply to be forgotten and left to do what he does best: patrol the yard and defend it - his way. (Inside, it is sleep time for many, 'perchance, to dream'!)


When talking to Miss S, our 75 pound female Labrador Retriever, it is to stroke her sweet face, reminding her yet again how smart she is, how wonderful she is watching over her younger brother, now a 72 pound burgeoning behemoth, a menace to all things green, buried and tree related. He is a descendant of 'Himself.' our 125 pound yellow retriever, who passed away in our car in the Spring of 1998 and 'Puppy boy', our 88 pound retriever, who died last Christmas, in his 14^th year. It's truly a family affair. ..She listens ever so sweetly.


Funny how words can evolve to fit a certain person or beloved pet. The word, 'Himself' was the chosen affectionate noun used by Mall Cop's dad, once upon a time, when our son lived with us. His fascination with all our retrievers kept us all laughing with the stories he would act out with each one and the nicknames he would assign to explain their personalities. He spoke their language. 

Each pet was very special, unlike any that had come before him or her. It made sense to us, kept us laughing, even after their deaths. New words were created, each befitting the special pet to whom it was assigned, when each arrived on the scene. With the females, I used priggy instead of  'pretty' to help them hear the word more easily, using g's instead of the t's when I spoke to them. It made sense only to me and them. Did they understand? No one knew. We felt they did. Talking to them opened up my world as well as theirs in a special way. Was it reasonable? Yes, it was. It made sense to us, a family who loved their non human family so much.  ...(Could this be a lesson in helping children develop language?)


I look at our precious kitty, 'Tiggy' and think how far she has come since being left to die that freezing cold morning-10 years ago. She lies in wait for me, on the top bunk, far from the madding crowd, surveying the city scape from the safety of her bunker, high atop her 'bunk'. She is easily stressed. So she is left alone and spoken to, from afar. Having no whiskers makes it difficult for her to discern her environment and the people in it. In the beginning, when she ran outside of the fenced yard, I worried about her safety. There are birds and animals, nocturnal and not, roaming about, in search of prey. She'd be perfect food for them. We would search for her. I was disappointed by her actions. 'What did I do to deserve this, I would ask?” I let you roam, outside with the dogs, in the fenced enclosure, in warmer weather and this is how you say thank you.” She would wait to tell me her side of the story. Inside we would go and all was forgiven. Hugging wasn't her thing.  Miss S, Puppy Boy and now, Mr. Wiggles, are always there to supervise-just in case! And admonish her, if need be. She would listen and remain close by, just in case, most of the time!..


When Mall cop stays over with his sister, the 'bombshell' mini-schnauzer, Ella, there is a rush to see who gets to sleep on the sofa, Once there, I am left to beg, “Where do I sleep, people, after all, if I go to bed upstairs, two of you are in your respective crates. And there goes your freedom”. Alas, that settles that. I get the sofa and all is good. “Sweet dreams, my dear little ones.” Morning will be here soon and I need to sleep. Good Night!

Education's Triple Threat

Hollywood calls them the triple threat, the collective gold standard of talent: singing, dancing and acting. Jennifer Lopez comes to mind for me in the 21^st century. In the last one, it was Fred Astaire, Judy Garland, Debbie Reynolds, to name a few of the incredibly talented stars possessing this supreme magical talent. Television, stage and the big screen helped deliver these incredible 'actors' to us.

It came to mind, recently, that education has its own built in triple threat: Academics, Athletics and the Arts, the triple 'A' system of education. ... Alter this trio of gold in any way and the learning curve begins to change, sometimes, dramatically, in a downward spiral for the child not immersed in the culture of 'Triple A'.

In a system designed to educate our children, why is it O.K. that the arts (music, drama, visual arts) and athletics (team and individual sports, gymnastics- even recess!) are, simply, dismissed or worse, deleted, from a rigorous learning agenda in favour of a strictly academic focus. We are shortchanging our children -big time- when just one of education's triple threat partners is missing. Our long term wellbeing, health and success in life and workplace are threatened when each partner in the trio is not treated with respect, especially, for the youngest and most vulnerable among us.

It was important that our sons learn how to skate and swim, early in life. (We live in Canada where winter is a feature of our daily lives, several months of the year. Public skating lessons were begun) Then, there is the summer, where water sports form the basis of everyday living. (Group swimming lessons were ongoing, Spring and Fall) ... Learning these life giving skills also facilitated their learning experience. ... Even walking is athletics, an endeavour worth considering and doing, in the absence of  structured athletic programs. ... A strong focus on movement helps to build strength, in mind and body. It also allows for a brief departure from the rigours of academic learning to permit a different kind of brain workout, involving the whole body. (And as we have learned, it keeps us healthy!)

When our boys were in elementary school -our oldest in grade 5- an Arts focus program was introduced into the northern region of our school board, one of the largest in the province of Ontario. Those interested, applied. (The program's focus: motivation, participation and positive attitude.) This divergent approach to academics was heralded as a new and exciting path to learning. (Transportation to the Arts program was the responsibility of the parents.) .

We could never have afforded this concentrated 'arts' program on our own. This composite programming of music, the dramatic and visual arts, in conjunction with physical education and academics now formed the foundation of our sons' educational 'gold' package. Sadly, this program lasted 6 years before its retirement.  ...  I chose music, an elective, in high school, joined the school choir and participated in musical productions each year. ... My husband's musical experience included the completion of grade ten piano and for a few hours, one evening long, long, ago, he was the drummer for the English rock band, the Kinks, when they visited Canada in the early 60's.

The Arts, with its strong music/dramatic arts component, should be available for all children, in all jurisdictions, not just for the select few or for those where transportation is not a problem. The Arts and Athletics combined with academics bring to the individual untold health, wellbeing and success in life and work. 

When we challenge the brain through music and athletics, we strengthen our body and mind in incalculable ways, that last a lifetime. ...Let us think of the triple threat in education as a right for all children, especially, for those deemed at-risk. Bathing the very young child in a world of music appreciation, painting, dance is to begin the task of triple A orientation, slowly and methodically. It shows the world to be a friendly, familiar face where learning is an everyday occurrence and new experiences are not to be feared.

Mall Cop's Review

Diminutive 'Mall Cop' lay there simply wanting to chew the elk antler, the special one, the one they all wanted but he had found first, on the floor, within the chewing arena. ... This twenty pound dynamo looked at me wondering, if maybe, I wanted to chew, also. (He was polite that way. They all were, really.) I sat on the floor, nearby, offering protection, just in case, the 'others' came calling, hoping to relieve him of the top pick of the moment. He chewed with great delight, this familiar yummy bone, its aroma and texture, so pleasing to all of the visiting 'dognitaries'. (When Mall Cop is There, 9/2013)

As usual, our 8 month old, adult 'impersonator', 'Mr.Wiggles' was busy, nearby, pouncing, every which way, to the 'absurd'. (What song was he dancing to, this time, I wondered? I had shut off the stereo.) “Miss S', our 74 pound, 5 year old retriever, my sweet girl, seemed lost in thought, thinking that all of this was so preposterous. "Why aren't they all outside, banging into each other, so I can be alone?"  Oh how quickly we forget, my dear sweet Lab. ...Mall Cop's mini schnauzer sister was, nearby, chewing the other antler, the biggest one. She was always going after 'bigger fish'. It was her nature to test the limits of her tiny mandate, this 8 month old baby, 17 pound little cutie, with her four furry booties, all around. ....


Looking back on my sweet Lab's early years (1-3), I am reminded how truly lucky she is that she was not traded in for an older model of something. Her antics, then, were beyond our human abilities to understand. ... Her eyes were always fixated upon my reaction to her daily obsession: the constant digging and finding of rocks, large and small, to be held, in trust, between the upper and lower molars of her mouth. Funny how only a retriever could detect the undetectable. ... Scanning her play area, beforehand, did little to unearth these dog 'treasures' of distinction. “Oh. Please,” I thought back then,” “Give me the rock and we'll call it even.” The game we played seemed to involve outrunning one another. (The tree was always there, never moving for a moment!) “Please, give mommy the rock”, I would beg. She understood my concern but she was having too much fun simply running amok while making me crazy, I knew. ..(Today, she is quiet, patient, kind and oh so wise!)


The day she found the big one was a day in infamy. She looked up at me, staring into the void-which was my mind! At that point, it was strictly primal. Which one of us would win this game of grab and run? How could I catch her before she hit the tree with the paper weight of rocks in her mouth? Would she destroy her internal chewing apparatus when she tripped or hit the tree? Oh My! Where had she found this current monstrous piece of dental horror? What had I missed? Where had it been hidden? I had been inside the house, looking at her through the glass doors when she caught my eye. She stood there motionless, glaring at me with that “I gotcha, now” look of satisfaction.


This current specimen was the 'rock of horrors', larger than ever imagined and one that could barely be contained inside her mouth. I cautiously walked outside, admiring her latest find. I stood there speechless, motionless, while contemplating my next move. "Oh my!" ...  She began to run at the speed of light or sound. I'm not sure which. (The fenced yard helped contain her whirlwind antics.) All I could do now was simply be patient and ignore her, hoping my disinterest in her momentary lapse of judgement would give way to her simply dropping this quaint piece of Mt. Vesuvius. ... I looked at her. She glowered at me. Her dental future and our bank balance were at stake. .. I offered her a trade. She thought for a moment, then relented. As I walked towards her, I grabbed this newest piece of rock face that had just fallen out of her sweet little mouth. I thanked her for her 'good girl' decision. We had both won this stalemate. She got the cookies. I got the paper weight. No teeth lost. No collision with the tree!. ... I breathed a sigh of relief. ..


Though our retriever's annoyance with the throng in her midst was understandable, her personal truth, a step back in time, was worse than those of her assembled contemporaries. Her indignation always seemed at odds with her history. Three year old Mall Cop did not do the things she had done-ever. His sister was a saint, in comparison. And our Mr. Wiggles, her baby brother, was just a happy little boy, trying to be friendly and happy to all he met. He was an infant, after all. Well, my dear girl, do you remember that curtain panel and what happened, one dark and scary night? I do! ... Let's play.

A Retro Revival of the Cars of Yesteryear

The re-introduction of former 'muscle' cars from a period long gone in new, more modern skins, is a testament to the incredible genius of the creators of those cars- of that bygone era. These modern day 'retro' sculptures, on wheels, are wonderful reminders of the design integrity and simple beauty of the many styles of auto history's past. ...(First, came the Thunderbird, a few years ago) ..Now, we have the Charger, Challenger, Mustang, Camaro and the Corvette, american made beauties, whose recognizable silhouettes and design profiles, are a walk down memory lane, as you travel the roads and highways in Canada and the United States of America. ...

The car makers of those cherished models have not forgotten their mandate: to give the public what they want in a newer more modern version of the original..... The integrity of today's models is a reflection of yesteryear. They have distanced themselves from the rest of the herd. ... Everything new today becomes old. So it would seem that the opposite would hold true, that the 'old' can be re-imagined and called 'new'.

Growing up in Toronto, in the 50’s and 60’s, I rarely found myself in a car. Our family did not own a car and neither parent drove. I walked everywhere or used transit. ... Few vehicles were in my life until I met my husband and began my teaching career, north of Toronto. ... Learning how to drive was done, just in time and just in case. ...With a terrible sense of direction, I would rehearse every trip for my new job, the day before I was to begin. ... Cars had to be an integral and important part of my life, then. Driving became a necessity- as it is, now, for many people, whose jobs/careers depend upon a car..

One look at some high end lines would indicate that in the process of creating lower priced versions of themselves, these brands have lost something in the process, bearing little resemblance to the original that set themselves apart from every other model, in the first place. Other than the signature plate, hood ornament or the grill itself, brand identification, on some models, is difficult to discern or ascertain. Could a tweaking, of this or that, change the design to reflect the original, in a more defined/refined way? ... Many of today's cars are incredible pieces of machinery, safer, with better gas mileage and more aerodynamic. Years earlier, the public made it known, to car makers, what they thought of the crop of gas guzzlers being sold, then. (The period of cheap gas was gone) Now, with newer innovations , design modification and with science, as an ally, car choice has never been better or greater. The retro look is now sought after by young and old alike. With new generations to serve and with a proven history, it makes sense for car makers to reformulate, redesign, re-engineer their past lineup, those proven top sellers, to bring forward a brand new crop of  these former favourites. Discarding the past, completely, makes no sense.  Simply update, re-engineer, while safeguarding the integrity of the original in look, feel and profile. Simple.......

We bought used, repeatedly, leased occasionally, then new when it made sense. ...One of the cherished vehicles of our family's past was the Jeep Grand Wagoneer, a car whose look, design and large boxy-safe- profile made it a hit with us.(Dark blue with wood grain on the outside)  When it became apparent that its use was coming to an end, I offered to paint it. We could neither afford a new vehicle, body work, nor a new paint job. (And since my husband put in 12 hour days, it made sense that I would paint the Jeep.) So it was painted, with much care and precision by me and our 12 year old son, using the carmaker's paint. Preparing the car for 'spray' painting was painstakingly done The paint job gave us another year. Then, we had to let the Jeep go. Looking back, I think about that car and lament its passing into history.  Could it return in a modern day version of itself? Could the makers of this classic vehicle, The Jeep Grand Wagoneer, revisit the drafting board and bring it back? Others did. I can only hope.

The 'Exotic' in Primary Special Education

Let's make strudel, then brioche, pretzels, ravioli, pierogies, spaetzle, to name a few 'instructive' foods. These 'things' would be easy to do and an easy soft sell where children are concerned. ..These little people, these quirky adults-in-the-making, have no preconceived idea of perfection and are willing to try anything. Strudel would be a monumental achievement- for anyone. Imagine its profound effect on young at-risk children. Unlike yeast dough, strudel would be a 'strategic' activity, a how to, in this order, sort of thing. ...At-risk children require these prudent, 'out of the box' teaching methods. Let us not be constrained by the confinement of educational doctrine. Literacy is always more important than content.

I thought about strudel, unconventionally, the other day, for the primary at risk child. Why not? Engagement should be the only criterion upon which to base the educational goals of primary at-risk children. Waiting for successful 'academic' outcomes is a moot point, counter productive- if the child is not present, is fearful, does not understand the academic goals or is not paying attention. In the learning process, the lessons of courage, trust and confidence will develop, guiding the student towards full participation in the academic life of school. ...  (Literacy and numeracy will follow, logically and coherently) ...With primary at-risk children, of whom very little is expected and about whom I have written many times since March 2012, finding a 'hook' to keep them interested is a priority of educators. (These learned 'baking' skills are not about baking, anyway.) It's about higher order thinking, plain and simple. (And yes, the momsey includes pen and paper in this learning format. The hand /pen/mind connection must never be underestimated in its power to 'instruct', 'ignite' and 'help to penetrate' the young thinking, vulnerable brain....More about this synergetic alliance, courtesy of  Scientific American, Fall, 2013)

The introduction of the exotic-(strudel)- into the formal teaching schedule along a 'side' dish of music appreciation and a 'dash' of dance, is not too much to expect. (Is this education's triple threat?)(Something about doing what we fear in order to grow both emotionally and intellectually)...The incredible internet has changed all the rules. Remember, there were rules in place before the internet came along. ...It is incumbent upon us to throw something into the day of these children to shake them up, to thrill them, to test them. ... Leading the group should also be a desired expectation, at some point. In every group, there is a leader, invisible or not, responsible for the group, in one way or another. Though I have never made strudel, I will soon. It is an ally to the learning goals of education, yet, so incredibly off the chart, where learning a new skill is concerned. Words, printing, cards, reports, questions, grammar, composition and literature would slowly work their way into this learning game towards the acquisition of critical higher order thinking skills.

During the beaver tail lesson in the primary intensive language class- many years ago- the students were always full of anticipation, wondering what was going to happen next.. Devouring these fried misshapen pieces of hand/homemade dough was always a delicious result of the lesson. It was an exercise in doing, attention, planning and thinking!. There were no behavioural incidents. Children never disappoint. They keep us on our toes. We must always be attuned, however, to their needs, much like the needs of a puppy or kitten. These 'special' groups have much in common. ... Little hands/skin and the sense of touch are connected to the brain. It is another example of experiential learning at its best. In our sons' kindergarten class, many decades ago, during the topic of cheese, perogies were demonstrated, from start to finish. The class of four/five year olds simply took over, making me so redundant. Oh, what a wonderful feeling that was! The yummy cheese packages were as good as any I have ever made, perhaps, better.

We must evolve to encompass new knowledge, new strategies about how children learn in today's modern, fast paced world. Preparing the young, vulnerable brain for higher order thinking skills is what education was intended. Only now, the rules have changed. So should the education of our most vulnerable. Strudel anyone? Let's begin...

Breaking Up

Breaking up is one of life's greatest lessons. The end of a relationship is a personal assault on our dignity and self worth. Many times it can be overwhelming. At the time, it presents itself as the worst of times. It seems to cripples us, emotionally. We must not be numbed by its intrusion but reflect on the reasons why and accept its impact. It's a period of self reflection, a period of doubt. But really, it is a gift to us, to our future, though, at  the time, we do not see or believe it. This loss of connection, and identity, perhaps, when it happens, is to humble us, to show us that something was wrong and we were not aware of it. Breaking up brings us back to the beginning but in a wiser mind and body format. The clouds roll in, temporarily. Then the sun begins to shine brightly, once again. We have simply been detoxed!

I was dumped, unceremoniously, decades ago, on the black phone of the day, with a  ''maybe we should see other people" kind of end to a multi-year relationship quote.. It was a shock. But then after two days of mind numbing sadness, some bouts of crying,(which are non-productive, long term), I realized I had wasted enough time feeling sorry for myself. It was time to begin anew. Quitting work, school and simply staying in my bedroom, forever, as I licked my wounds, seemed somewhat stupid and silly. The issue of trust had been dealt a blow, of course. Could I trust another guy? Of course I could. The world is full of good, great people,(both men and women), some of whom have also been dealt blows, worse than mine. It was time to move on with the gift of life. It was a breathe of fresh air. (There are too many good guys in the world for us girls to become focused on the one who dumped us.) There were lessons to be learnt in being the 'dumptee'. ..


My weight had been a concern to him. At one point, I was a skinny 110 pounds, one day, eating lettuce and cottage cheese. Water was out of the question. It would make the scales creep upwards. It was my contribution to what he thought I should be! The relationship seemed to always hold me back, keep me in my place, a place where he wanted me to be. Within two weeks of this dramatic loss of companionship, I met my Mr. Right, though I was not looking. I was too busy working, going to class and healing myself as needed. Being with other people and family helped tremendously in this regard.


I was working the Thursday evening shift, in the 'cocktail lounge' of this landmark Toronto restaurant when 'he' walked in with friends, to unwind after a long tiring week of travelling. Forty one years later, we are still together and laughing at our 'older' selves. ... Insurance was his game and still is today. (I was the one, he remarked). What had separated him from the previous 'person' was simple. I could trust him. He was kind and nice. Everything else was, simply, not that important to him. What a revolutionary thought! ...When I look back I remember one last meeting with my former partner. He had hoped for reconciliation. It could never be again. A bond of trust had been shattered. A period of cleansing was in order. ...(A relationship, fraught with misgivings, mistrust and impossible standards, is not o.k.- ever- I realized afterwards.) ... At that time, in my young naïve mind, I was lucky to find anyone. He knew it and so did I. When the 'severance' package came, it was the best gift ever. Then in walked my Mr. Right, the future for us both.


Returning to someone who-a) caused one of the worst days of my life and b) was not available for me, on one of the worst days of my life, was not possible. This was simply a dating mishap, a point of no return. (There must always be a standard, a boundary, beyond which we simply must not go, ever!). ... That period in my history was also a pivotal moment for me. I was free to be me.. It is now forty one years later. ... The qualities that brought my husband and me together back then are qualities that still reside in our hearts and minds today. It's a bond that is not easily broken.

Surviving a Head On Collision

The sports car began to fishtail. As we waited for its driver to regain control, it quickly became apparent that we were headed towards the inevitable. I braced for impact. Soon, it would be done. Our time had come. Then everything stopped. The crash of metal to metal held me in its terrifying grip. The stillness of the moment gave rise to the muffled cries from the back, telling me that our boys were alive.

The day had begun like any other. It was a chilly, windy winter's day. On this particular Saturday morning, however, dressing the boys, ages two and three, would require more than the usual. A scarf wrapped snugly around the outside of each of their hooded winter jackets and tucked carefully inside, for safety sake, would help  keep out the chill of that frosty winter's day. As the boys walked towards the car, they seemed like miniature robots, moving in rigid, synchronized fashion through the snow.

A visit to the auto body shop, the next day, would tell the story, of our near miss with death. The vehicle we had been in yesterday, when we left home, was now an almost unrecognizable mass of metal from the front windshield down to the bumper. ... What seemed untouched was the body of the car where we had been seated, a day earlier. .. A pair of glasses, my husband had been wearing, had been smashed into bits. A briefcase, stored in the trunk of our sedan, fell apart when touched. We realized at that moment how close we had come. Had we not been in that car, not been belted, our injuries would have been catastrophic. It was February, 1982. When it was obvious that black ice (ice that is almost invisible on paved roads) seemed everywhere, we had decided to return home. Then the accident happened.

The car we were driving was a Peugeot sedan, a used vehicle we'd had for 6 years. Its crumple zone had saved us all from serious injury. ...Our car was now a mangled mess, a far cry from a simple dented front end I had envisioned, while seated inside, waiting for the ambulance to arrive, that morning. I mourned the loss of an incredible car but not the people inside it. We had been spared the ultimate atrocity!

Our injuries were few. Our boys, with no physical injuries, had  been spared whiplash. They had been strapped, securely, in their 'child' made seats, and anchored snugly, at the neck, by the last minute addition of a scarf for added protection from the harshness of the winter's day.(The weakest part on a child's young body is at the neck) ... Chest pains, lasting months and a grapefruit sized bruise, appearing days later on my left knee, the result of hitting the console beside me, were the only injuries, proof of the adage, 'Seatbelts saves lives'. ... I shuddered to think what might have been without these life saving restraints. ... The force of two cars hitting head on is the result of the combined speeds of the two, coming together, then stopping in an instant. How different the outcome could have been for the five of us. ...( I was expecting our third child, I learned later.)


We had purchased a used Peugeot wagon, in 1971, on the recommendation of a friend from England, who had suggested either a French made Peugeot, or a Swedish made Volvo, well known for their superb safety record. Years later, it was another Peugeot, this time, the sedan, purchased from our mechanic, that would protect us all from serious harm in 1982.

There are many brands of well built vehicles, both domestic and 'foreign', on the market today, with incredible safety features built into them. Choice is limitless. The knowledge accrued since that fateful day in February, four decades ago, has also changed what we drive today. My husband adheres to a line he lives by in his professional career as a leading expert in the creditor auto insurance field, a line he has made famous, “The cheapest thing you put in a car is the gas!”

They Are the Ladies Who Toil

They are the ladies who do breakfast, lunch and dinner. They are everywhere and in every age group, toiling for a living, serving the public these major 'food groups', each and every day of the week. Meeting the public can be a challenge. (Saturdays and Sundays are not weekends off for many of these endearing, steady workhorses of the food service industry.) They are the waitresses whose service to the public goes unnoticed.


A show discussing the hospitality industry and the practice of tipping, for services rendered, had some audience members decrying this time honoured tradition. Many felt that wait staff, those who are disenchanted with their jobs of serving the public, should leave or go back to school to get a better job. (This comment was directed towards this predominantly female work force.) ...If we were to take this absurd comment to its logical conclusion, wait staff would disappear to find this 'better job'. The rest of us could, now, simply stay at home, having nowhere to go because all the waitresses are nowhere to be found. We could, possibly, tip ourselves, while we toil in our own kitchens, bemoaning the fact that the waitresses are gone. The term, ' Night on the Town' with the girls/guys would now have no meaning at all. (Sitting at home eating cheesies, potato chips and ice cream while watching reruns of shows /movies would paint a dismal picture for us.)


Eating out allows us to relax, socialize and enjoy something presented to us in a new way: food and its companions. How we choose to indulge is our problem or our delight! We dine out for reasons that are endless: to celebrate dad's milestone 90^th , mom's 50^th , a son's graduation, a friend's new job, a daughter's wedding day, or simply, a romantic evening out with our special companion or that special first date. It is a moment of relaxation, a moment of bliss, perhaps. Sometimes, we simply want to spoil ourselves. We are fortunate that there are people willing to put up with the demands of serving food to an unappreciative public in the oft rush hours of the day, afternoon and evening. The serving of food must be done efficiently, in quick fashion, with grace and diplomacy. This is no easy task!


Being a waitress, while a full time student in 1970, was a great opportunity to earn money, working part time. There was on-job training and experience was not always a prerequisite. Your people skills were always tested, each and every day. I met all sorts of people. And not everyone tipped. On one occasion, I remember being on duty, alone in one of the larger sections of the two story restaurant, one of the few stand up bars in Toronto, in the late 60's. Realizing that close to a hundred people were depending upon me for their special evening out, I worked quickly and diligently to serve them while spending most of the evening apologizing for any inconvenience caused by the shortage of wait staff. ... It was all I could do to sympathise with the customer and explain that I understood their frustration and worked quickly to show them I was trying. ... The menu was simple and straight forward- which made my job easier. It was frustrating for the patrons and challenging for me. An “I'm sorry” helped to diffuse the situation and calm nerves.. ...(During one slow Thursday evening shift, I met my husband. you might say my tips soared that evening - 43 years ago!)


If we can afford a night out, it behoves us to appreciate the person who chooses to wait tables. They have given us a night off without us having to cook, clean, wash the dishes, the stove, the counters, etc. We are off duty. For me, dining out is always a special treat. It allows me the opportunity to eat something new or familiar, while meeting interesting people. .. People from all walks of life wait tables for all sorts of reasons. If they left to find a 'better job', it just might be ours.

Play and The Power of Words

For our first born son, 'play' became the critical instrument of language. The year was 1979. (His early arrival- 3 months prematurely- signalled a long journey towards language acquisition, proficiency and learning). ... I remember well his homecoming -two months later, one month ahead of his original due date. Here was this tiny, vulnerable human being-(5 pounds, 2 ounces)- requiring 24 hour care and intensive therapy, lasting five years. He was considered a high risk child, then, a candidate for special education, later. How could we help him ? An inner peace enveloped me that afternoon as I held him and gazed into his face and wondered, “What could we give him that would last a lifetime?” Then, I knew. It would be a ‘mind of his own’, the gift of the spoken word! 

Words, thoughts and ideas would give him the power and ability to make responsible choices for his long term health, life success and happiness. (Nothing or no one could match wits with the power of the human mind to defend itself).. (Today, he is 'Mall Cop's' dad, whose comedic transformation, from time to time, reminds me of Bob Hope, the greatest comedian of all of the last century)...

When we enter a child’s world of play, it is with reverence that we stay. There are no rules! We need only pay homage to this 'early adult' that stands before us, engaged in sounds and words, the result of the young burgeoning mind steeped in experiential learning. We listen and wait to be admitted into the magical world he has created. We are a part of the beginning of his thought process, a witness to his learning. When other children are present, we ask permission to join them. ... They are in charge. They must be for they are in the world of their own making. We are simply visitors to this special place. ... 

Language in ‘play’ is language in context. It is within these meaningful moments of the spoken word, aligned with movement, that children learn the valuable lessons of language and the power they wield!. Basic fundamentals of language begin with these special spontaneous moments from which noises and human sounds emanate. From there we have words, phrases, then complete thoughts. We set the course. The modelling of language begins here. ...

At-risk children require a more direct, concerted approach to the building of their vocabulary, a major component to language acquisition. (It is critical that words are spoken not how they are spoken.) The 'putting of words into their mouths' creates a unique path to learning and helps to introduce them to foreign words of all types. 

This physical act of pronouncing new words is not an easy task, but a task, nonetheless, and an important learning step. It is a form of brain re-structuring, the result of brain use when new/foreign words are heard, then spoken. Here, the auditory sense is stimulated as it would be in music. ... Allowing our child the freedom to explore during play and in his surroundings assists in the building of his short term and long term memory/vocabulary and the scaffolding of language. The tools of this early language delivery system is helped by engaging with other children, using wooden blocks/ Lego, music, large crayons, paper, the hands, questions, Mother Nature and a caring adult- the greatest toy ever devised. ..("Caring for/ "Life of a Preemie"-07/08-2012,"Speech Therapy"-06-2012 and "Special Education"-04-2012)

Play is an instrument of thinking, learning, quiet introspection and having fun. It is a fundamental, concrete component in this childhood journey towards language acquisition, lifelong learning and mental health. Children learn from each other all the time and sometimes, the greatest lessons are gleaned from this unique interaction with one another. When children vocalize later than expected, is it  because they are too busy watching, listening and doing?  We must be patient. ... For it is play, this very powerful mechanism of learning about life and other children that helps unleash the creativity and the power of the spoken word within each child. There is no substitution for that!
,

'When Mall Cop is There'

There he stood in his black regalia, overlooking the crowd, watching out for ‘him’, his adoring fan, his overbearing, annoying, 55-pound cousin: our 6-month-old 'infant' male retriever! He was never quite sure what to expect from this newest member of the family. ...  At 3 years old, standing 10 inches tall and weighing 20 pounds, this diminutive apparition - Mall Cop - knew and understood his mandate: to protect his baby sister, also, a 6 month old 'infant' but weighing only 12 pounds, from this lovable 55 pound menace of the ‘yard’. He is Mall Cop, after all, a name coined by his doting parents!

Mall cop, my 3 year old ‘grandson’, a Pomeranian/Terrier mix, is a force to reckon with, a solitary man, whose view of the world is simple: "Mess with me, squirt, you mess with me". ... Any attempt to thwart his authority will be meted out by a growl, a chase, a few well placed nibbles, in rapid succession. In his world, size does not matter. He is, after all, Mall Cop, a security unit of one. My husband and I have been the owners to a host of retrievers for over 40 years. Our pet family has now grown to include Mall cop, and his sister -Miss E.- a mini schnauzer, the other 'infant' in our family. ... (10 year old kitty cat just sits, watches and waits for the energy to dissipate knowing Mall Cop is there.)

Babysitting all four dogs brings new meaning to chaos. With a mix of genders, breeds, sizes, ages and personalities, every day is a chaotic reminder that Mall cop is near to help ‘mind the pen’. My initial fear has now been replaced by mind numbing fatigue! Each pup brings new meaning to love, warmth, humour and a strict adherence to protocol. ... Our 6-month-old male retriever spends his waking hours, walking and licking, in air-biting play, while wiggling to the absurd. He is our Mr. Wiggles. His playmate, his petite 6-month-old mini schnauzer cousin, engages with him in seeming mindless play, every which way, with the many rubber toys/ squeaky balls that lie in wait for their playing enjoyment in the yard. She snaps at her cousin's attention- if taken too far. What lady wouldn’t? Then enters, Mall cop, her brother, a lovable man of mystery, reason and action. “Enough, already” he seems to say. “Unhand her, sir”, he continues, as our 6-month-old retriever touches his little cousin, momentarily, in biting play. The animation stops, suddenly, when ‘The Law’ appears reminding all that the final decree rests with me! ... As night time approaches, however, quiet time is announced. Exhaustion has arrived for animal and human alike. Morning will soon be here and the mayhem of a another day will begin, with Mall cop on duty, once more. (The oldest, the 74 pound, 5 year old female retriever, is disinterested with all she sees and leaves all to their own personal trials and daily dilemmas.)

It is chewing time, now, a moment replayed over and over again. It is a time of co-opertive play and teeth cleaning/gum massaging. ... All were busy. Suddenly two new tapered antler bones, of different sizes, were introduced into play. ... These objects of chewing delight became the most sought after instruments of chewing 'candy' and desired by all. ... (These elk and deer antlers are well known today for their chewing safety and health benefits, with added minerals.) . ... Four dogs, two bones, made the next scene rather challenging. Brother was paired with sister to help diffuse the tension, while waiting in line! ... With a room full of objects to chew, it was a crisis for these furry little creatures when only two 'choice' antlers were available. Eventually, each duo  had their allotted chewing time with the gum massaging, non-splintering, mineral based delights. A quiet time unlike any other! ... I was witness to an amazing feat of self control from the doggy world! Not a growl, toothy grin, snap or gnashing of teeth from any of these energetic, bone loving creatures, as each waited for their turn at the chewing carousal. Give them what they need! ... They will give you what you want!


Knowing and understanding the quirks of my furry children and grandchildren helps in my role as doggy day care provider. Insecurities and uncertainties help create the doggy dilemmas we encounter. In working with dogs, consistency and boundaries are imperatives in helping them develop into well adjusted lovable family companions. In our case, no matter what, Mall Cop is there!

Special Education: A New Day, A Radical Approach

A new school year is here. For children, whose learning styles are a challenge to educators, that first day of school can be a date with the unknown, fraught with fear, excitement and a whole mix of feelings in between.  The stomach says it all.  As the student enters the classroom, that first day, let it be with awe, the feeling that says that what you are about to experience is like nothing you have ever experienced before. ("We're Smarter Than Adults"-9/2012, A Hat, A Mat and Music, 5/2012)

Let music be a part of the school day from the beginning.  Music has a profound effect on the brain, a calming or energizing welcome to the beginning of a new day. (The type of music will decide the effect on the brain and body.) ...  In a special education class, music should be the order of the day, as it relieves the stress that may be present in the young at-risk mind.  (A ‘snack’ bar containing homemade food, fruit and veg. should be available. Pizza, doughnuts and freshly made pasta-all class made- can be  available or sold, a reminder of the learning outcomes of the class.) The special ed. classroom should be like home in all ways possible.

Within the confines of the classroom environment, it is the teacher, the student’s trusted advisor, who sets the tone and steers the classroom in the direction of its learning goals. Let the teacher, whose years of training for this monumental undertaking, have the freedom to do what must be done: to extract all there is from each child amid the chaos and silence that sometimes reside inside his mind!

From 9:00 a.m. until 10:00 a.m., it is tea time, a period of calm, the planning of the day's events, tasting, and music appreciation.  It is a structured time for listening and conversation, valuable skills learned early in life. Let us not be haste in our judgement of what is happening or not happening within the walls of this classroom. There is a plan. (The teacher knows it as does the principal. She is a trained professional) Let us not be in a hurry to introduce the alphabet and numbers, the foundation upon which words, thoughts, thinking and learning are based. For special children, a different approach is required that softens their view of school and their place within it ... For the rest of the school day, let it be a softened approach with music at its core.

The at-risk child is many things. He is young, awkward, shy, aggressive, has poor self esteem, attention and memory skills.  He manifests moments of genius, occasionally, but no one fully understands the complete picture. He is at the mercy of those who put him on a waiting list for testing to determine what problems are hampering his learning ability. So we wait.  Let us assume there is a problem and act accordingly. ... The Arts are the secret weapon in the teacher’s arsenal of teaching strategies and tools for those at-risk students. Studies have shown the powerful influence of The Arts on academic learning. Music can begin, simply, as a theater for listening and movement. The lessons are not important. Structure is.  The whole body must be prepared for the vast universe of learning that will occur. (Do not focus simply on the brain. There is a body attached!)...

Ask teachers what is best suited for their class and they will tell you-just leave me alone to do my work. Let music rule the day. Let its companions- listening, singing, and movement- become as much a part of the elementary school curriculum as the letters of the alphabet and numbers always have been. Preparing the whole body helps to prepare the whole brain for the job that awaits: higher order thinking/academic learning. (Music is math. Singing is words.) Together they become an invincible dynamic duo. Let the music play!

Brokering the Deal, A Child's Perspective

He approached the retail counter where the saleswoman was standing. He hoped to negotiate a deal today. ... Though he was only 9 years old, he knew he was on his own in this particular circumstance.  There was no turning back.

It was the first time our son had had the opportunity to alter the rules in the retail game. The baseball cap he wanted was five dollars more than he had. (Then there was the tax) His brothers had been given the same amount of money before we left for the three day trip to Ottawa to visit friends. Two of the boys had enough money for their purchases. Our youngest did not. A dilemma was presented.  What could he do? (More money was not an option. Another solution had to be found.)  The store was closing and we would be on our way, soon.

A possible solution to his monetary crisis was presented to our son. (If he were to lose out on buying this  much wanted cap, a lesson in “you can’t have everything you want’ would be the result, a lesson we all have had.)  Before his brothers’ purchases were made, we held back one item, another baseball cap. It would become the bargaining tool our youngest would need to solve his retail dilemma. We rehearsed, at length, what he would say, to whom he would speak and why the second -unpaid- hat would help. Everything was carefully scripted.  Was he too young to match wits with a seasoned salesclerk?  We would soon find out.

With a clear cut strategy in place, he was ready to proceed.  His conversational skills were his strongest suit so he hoped his ‘training’ there could be put to good use. He waited as the woman at the counter moved towards her newest customer.  At a height shorter than an adult, he was hidden from view by the display counter, not easily seen or heard, when he spoke. Soon his fears were allayed when she acknowledged his presence. (I waited several meters away, hidden by a pillar while watching the proceedings, not wanting to be noticed.) The  animated drama began to unfold.

The success or failure of these negotiations was his alone to bear. I watched as the saleswoman left to speak to another person. ...  (Speaking to someone in charge was his only recourse, I had told him, minutes earlier.) He would have to ask for her superior.  This would be a supervisor or a department manager.  These people were usually the only ones with the power to intervene in a sales transaction in lowering  a price. Now two people were involved in his sales pitch. The deal was done; the transaction, completed. He had brokered a deal and learned a valuable sales lesson in the process. Words had power!

In the retail game anything is possible. All it takes is the courage to ask the question.  He had maneuvered himself into a power position and garnered himself some wisdom in the process. ...  Though we could have given our son the extra five dollars, a principle was at stake here. In the real world, a money tree does not exist and extra money is not always possible. Asking the question, "Would you accept...?" in any retail scenario never hurts. 

Our youngest smiled. He had succeeded in purchasing his baseball cap at a price he could afford and had done it all on his own.  He was respectful, polite and explained clearly his intention: a price that was equal not better than the price being charged for his brother's cap. His reasonable request, coupled with two possible sales not one, helped to cement the deal.  He was, after all, only 9 years old. The money he had was all he had and money, he knew, did not grow on trees.

More Than Just a Superfood for Babies!

Scientists have called human milk the ultimate super food in preventing disease in the premature baby.  In its early stage of production, human milk, called colostrum, is an incredible pharmaceutical giant produced by lactation. ..  Contained inside this creamy coloured milk is an army of biological soldiers ready to rid the baby's body of deadly pathogens as they enter and spread disease to the delicate interior cavity of the premature infant. ...The name of one such disease is called necrotizing enterocolitis  (NEC). ... Its nemesis is mother’s milk, the great equalizer in protecting these vulnerable babies from this sinister, virulent disease which spells death to the intestines of the  immature infant, born too soon.  

Research published in the June 2012 issue of Discover, showed that complex human milk sugars, called oligosaccharides - (HMO) - and something called pancreatic secretory trypsin inhibitor - (PSTI)- were found to be present in human milk, helping to protect the preemie against NEC. ... (These oligosaccharides seemed to act as a ‘cleanser’ in flushing out the deadly bacteria responsible for this horrible disease) Several mitigating factors affecting the survival of the preemie are his birth weight, state of health at birth and his gestational age.  Losing out on the third trimester, a critical 3 month period of growth and development, the premature infant’s life is now in jeopardy.  The safety of the womb is gone, forever. ... Enter, the incubator, the baby's climate controlled, manmade womb.

The NICU doctor met my husband a few days after our son’s early birth in 1979. His surprise at the reason why my husband was there, that early morning, upgraded our son’s 5% chance of survival to 10%. A meager 2 ounces of mother’s milk, collected over many sessions, contained in a sterilized bottle, housed within an ice bucket, was the star attraction, that early morn. It was at that moment that the doctor realized that the team effort, for our son, extended far beyond the walls of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. ... It would be a meeting we would never forget. ... In 1979, we believed in what we had to do. Back then, few people knew or understood much about the importance of human milk in the diet of babies, let alone premature infants. For us, it was premium, easily digested 'formula', readily available. (Preemie milk was also different, I would learn weeks later, an early premium grade milk, designed specifically for the unique needs of the preemie, for his ‘time lost’ in the womb.)  Back then, we were naive but resolute in our commitment to our baby. I had also learned of the importance of using fresh milk, whenever possible, in providing added health benefits for him.  As science had stated in 1979, previously frozen milk de-activated an ingredient aiding in the baby's growth and development.  Our daily routines changed as science made us more aware of new data. Internet did not exist!....(Giving Birth to a Preemie/Caring for a Preemie-7/8, 2012)

Now research, in the 2012 issue of Discover, was touting human milk as the best thing for human disease prevention for the premature baby. ...  Dr. Mark Underwood, a neonatologist at University of California / Davis and his colleagues were now focusing on the health potential of human milk in a way never thought of previously. It is an exciting period in neonatal health.  This magical potion called mother’s milk is now being scientifically proven to be the best defense against the diseases of the severely premature infant. WOW!   It was a remarkable moment in  medical science.

A special event occurred in Copenhagen, Denmark in May 2011. It was the 1^st International Conference on the Glycobiology of Human Milk Oligosaccharides.  Scientists from all over the globe gathered there in great numbers to share their research and tell the world why mother’s milk was the best. Breast milk would be proven to be more than just about superb infant nutrition. It would now be about health and disease prevention. Mother’s milk was simply, the elixir of all life!

"You Make the Best Butter Tarts!"

“You make the best butter tarts in the world”, he remarked.  “Really?”  Oh, my. ... I was surprised by the comment- coming from my husband- so with pen in hand I decided to give some insights into my philosophy of baking desserts. There are numerous poor choices in the  dessert marketplace, vying for our attention. ... Usually, they contain an overabundance of sugars/corn syrups and other questionable ingredients/fillers that the body does not want/need or cannot process very easily. (Let us not overwhelm our bodies with ingredients created in a laboratory. Mother Nature knows best!) ...  Butter tarts are a delicious treat. Using a whole wheat/cake flour mix can be the basis for a new kind of pastry, a healthier one. .... But it is possible to make other changes in subtle ways, not necessarily noticeable to the discerning eye or taste buds. The addition of ground flaxseeds onto the pastry prior to the addition of the filling in making butter tarts is one way to increase the health quotient of the butter tarts without altering its flavour/texture status. ..   Substituting maple syrup for corn syrup and including fresh lemon juice, as well,  can make butter tarts a welcoming addition in making these tarts. We now know that seeds have numerous health benefits so it makes sense to include them when baking, too. (Chia, pumpkin, sesame, poppy and sunflower seeds are notable heavyweights). .... (Filling: 2 eggs, butter, lemon juice/vinegar -(in the filling and pastry)- then brown sugar, maple syrup-whipped together.)

Next, we have homemade pasta dishes -ravioli, perogies, noodles- all favourites of mine whose recipes can always be tweaked to enhance their health benefits easily. ...  At some point, we must get over the taste of things we do not like, especially, if it is something our bodies need to stave off cancer, heart disease or stroke. ...  The point of eating is for longevity and health! (Eating is not a hobby to be taken lightly.) ... Trying something new or making something differently makes eating an adventure. I have made terrible dough while trying to remake it. My dear mother-in-law happened to be visiting when my worst perogy dough was presented to her to eat. The next time, it was my best dough, ever. (She was there for the remake.)   A balance in what we do in remaking a recipe is the prudent way to go, after all, we learn by our mistakes.

Mixing different flours, adding eggs and oil to plain ‘envelope’ dough can infuse flavours and add health benefits. ...  Chopping tiny amounts of spinach/kale/Swiss chard into a sauerkraut filling can enhance flavour and health benefits not customarily associated with these carbohydrate ‘packages’. Leaving the skin on potatoes wherever possible and adding just a small amount of fat into a multi ingredient dish is wonderful way to avoid overeating.  Rolling dough as thin as possible also helps to reduce carbohydrate intake, a bonus to health...    Using buckwheat kasha as a filling for cabbage rolls, instead of rice, is another healthy change of pace. ... (Kasha filling was a favourite of my dad’s)   To improve the health benefits of using rice, I decided to take a chance on using the lowly celery in massive amounts along with onions and garlic, to a lesser degree. The result: flavour through the roof, a healthy rice filling great on its own or as an accompaniment to other meats or fish.

Improving any dish simply requires a desire for change. Food is our ally in the attainment and maintenance of good health. Keeping records of the changes you make, as you reformulate recipes, will provide a written record of what works or doesn't work, guiding you in the right direction. The food supply system has changed. Maybe, what we use to make our traditional dishes/desserts needs to change, too. Will that be kasha or rice cabbage rolls?

 

 

Muscle Mass and Me

We had just finished buying groceries. As I grabbed the bags and attempted a quick departure from the supermarket, my husband implored me to stop and give him one. How would it look to others, he remarked, a woman carrying all the bags of groceries while the man just walked beside her?   I relented, not wanting to hurt his feelings. He understood my reluctance to part with even one bag. My muscle mass was at stake, after all!

I lift, stretch, jump, and walk quickly, as often as possible, and dance. These are all benefits for bones, muscles and joints. Movement of any sort is both restorative and life giving. ... When ‘puppy boy’ was alive, his 88 pound body required lifting, up and down a few stairs to go outside/inside. ...  Gentle support was always provided to initiate movement for him and to make it as safe as was possible. ...  (In winter, ice was a constant reminder of how easily it was to fall-for both of us. ... He was an old guy being helped by an old girl!) ... 

Movement is necessary and an ongoing requirement for all of us, in building and retaining muscle mass.  I have fallen down the stairs on a few occasions and slipped on ice, disguised under light fallen snow and still managed not to break a bone though the bruises were reminders of these miscues. ... On  those occasions, I laughed at myself, hoping my brain would think it was simply misadventure on the part of a young person. ... Could I have elasticity, not easily measured in a bone density test? ... (I am at a high risk, though I do not know why.) ...  Lifting or carrying ‘heavy’ objects are an important part of my day whenever and wherever possible. It is a form of ‘resistance training’ that puts stress on the body, in a healthy way, strengthening bones and muscles,I have learned.  ...  When muscles are strengthened, bones benefit, too.  (Probably the mind, too)

In winter, we heat with firewood, our primary fuel source. This activity is a constant reminder, a built-in ‘resistance training’ chore, for me in bone strengthening. It is also invigorating. ...  (I have learned to breathe deeply and properly, in making lifting easier, much like the cleansing breath during childbirth. Deep breathing helps to move muscles/ease heart stress.)  Our tendency to hold our breath when fear strikes or when lifting heavy objects creates a burden on our heart while immobilizing our muscles.  Proper breathing is always a must when any work is being done.  

Challenging our bodies physically is necessary to maintain a certain level of strength as we age. Diet is our biggest ally, however, overlooked in so many ways in our quest to find answers to health problems or fatigue. Sugar seems to be a major culprit in our body’s ills, so we should be vigilant in how much we consume and also its origin. Sugar in its ‘natural habitat’ (fruit and vegetables) is much better than ‘processed’ sugar from questionable sources. ... Fresh Fruits and vegetables, otherwise known as live enzymes, are definite requirements for  the overall health of bones, muscles and organs. The profit margins in Mother Nature’s foods are low so it stands to reason that the food marketing machine‘s advertising campaign is on other ‘food like substances‘.  How inconvenient is it to eat an apple or peel a banana?

As we age, every opportunity to challenge our bodies should be undertaken, helping to offset, minimize or eliminate the adverse affects of short term acts of sabotage in our diet and exercise plans. Moving  benefits the whole body, especially, our bones and muscles. To Mother Nature who has bestowed upon us some of the greatest tools on earth: fruits and vegetables, we pay homage to her power and wisdom.  

The Painting

The framed painting caught my attention. ... There it rested, upright, on the concrete floor, in the store aisle, amongst other numerous watercolour paintings of scenery, objects and animals. Wrapped in ornate wood, the painting  drew me into its web of tenderness, longing, and warmth.  It told a story of love, caring and of another moment in time when I had to make the heartfelt decision - a first for me - to end the life of an beloved old pet.

I felt the pull on my heartstrings.  The painting was mine, now.  It had to be. There in the water colour mix of creams, beiges, browns, all seeming to run together, was the silhouette of the very old dog with its familiar face, on his master’s four poster bed.  This creature was special.  Where he slept and the way he slept, seemed to say,’ I belong to someone’. 

The chenille bedspread, of a bygone era, on which he lay, helped to cradle his soft, old, fragile body, seeming to protect it from discomfort and pain, familiar companions of dogs, in their golden years. His almost totally white face still showed signs of the colouring of his youth: yellow and orange. He was so real. He could have been mine. ... The dog seemed weary from a long life lived and now, sleeping, seemed to be in his final chapter. ... Curled upon his master’s bed, his weary bones, his barely there whiskers, his soft, ‘nose worthy’ furry coat, begged to be hugged, kissed and held, one more time. The resemblance to our first ‘pup’, decades ago, made him mine. My heart melted, once again.  

When our magnificent beast entered our lives, he was part of a ‘troupe’, just passing through, one of a litter of nine puppies. He remained with us for over 15 years. ..  We were renting a tiny cottage, at the time, an abode that could barely house two adults and one dog, let alone 9 babies, temporarily. ... The puppies were an unexpected addition to our family, and my teaching schedule. ... But we persevered until all found homes at the tender, magical age of 8 weeks. We kept him.  That was an imperative.  We could not give up all puppies to adoption. We were fortunate to have on-site doggie day care, called dad - (on a sabbatical from business) - until a move, the following year, changed our daycare circumstances.  

Our golden boy was impartial to people, in general, but favoured only those he knew, intimately.  As time passed, his demeanour was more akin to someone who liked to live alone.  We loved him, nonetheless.  ... Over time, other dogs of a similar colour and breed, entered our lives, all with discernible personalities and special charms - but understood only by us. ... Each pup taught us the meaning of unrequited love, of love with no boundaries, of love beyond the species of man. With each new face, I changed, becoming more and more like them, wanting simply to play, eat, have treats, drink water and laugh. There would always be two: a yellow male and a black female. 

Our first had been an abandoned pup, his mom, wandering in a park. She needed a home. We were it. Her dilemma created our next generation, and, eventually, the most incredible journey and bond with dogs ever envisioned.  They kept me sane and approving of all things messy, dirty, loud, sweet smelling  loving and very clean. If they were happy, I was, too.

The painting became mine, a gift for a wedding anniversary. It is a daily, solemn reminder- a book mark of my life- of the dance that began decades ago in finding the original, then her son and everything that followed.  Its prominence in the  room  where I have danced with each and every one of our human and non-human ‘children,’ connects me to our unique past. ...   I did not expect this surprise, this golden forever moment.  Money is money but everything else is simply, winning the lottery. My heart tells me so!

The Winner Is:"Goodnite, Hank"

“Bedroom Tales” was the central theme of the twelve films accepted into The Toronto Film Festival online competition, The Digital Gun Awards, that year.  The theatrical releases of these films would take place at the Regent Theatre, in Toronto, a premiere viewing venue for live theater and new films.  There, each of the twelve films, which had made the short list, would be judged by an audience of family members, friends, co-workers, classmates, other audience members and a panel of judges.  The winner of the Digital Gun Awards, also known as the Toronto Online Film Festival, would then be  declared.                                                

Instructions for the films’ creation and their underlying theme, “Bedroom Tales” were given only moments prior to the 72 hour film deadline. ...  During this rigid time schedule, all screenwriting, casting, musical direction, camera work, production, directing, editing and acting would be done, all the responsibility of  two people working on the 6 minute ‘feature’ film.  (Continuity was another step, a critical editing component, born of genius and quick thinking, a requirement in keeping the  momentum of the film moving on a path towards its logical conclusion). ...There was no such thing as advanced preparations. There was no time for meetings or business lunches for discussion. Time was a precious commodity.  

The film school graduates, with their varied backgrounds in the arts, had a 72 hour window in which to accomplish the impossible, in producing their film masterpieces on a non-existent budget. ...  For the short films to have a chance of success, the effort required was herculean. ...  Work was non-stop. ...  (Sleep was not on the to-do-list!) ... Calls were made to the actors to be ready, on location, for the shooting of the film. Then it was done. Soon the judging would begin.

With limited seating capacity-(900plus)- at the Regent, only 8 free passes were given to each film's producer and director for distribution to family/friends, the remainder sold to the public. ...  A little bit of Hollywood had come to the Regent Theater, elevating the event to star status. ...  The Regent Theater was born the Belsize in the late 1920’s, located 22 minutes from downtown Toronto, Ontario, the first live performance venue of its kind in Canada.  Years later it would become the revitalized Crest Theatre, then, finally, the Regent Theater, now a multi media facility associated with a host of entertainment duties including film and post production. Watching a film at the Regent is akin to taking a trip down memory lane, a step back 60 years to a bygone era.  The Regent is currently a designated heritage property, protected and cherished by the community in which it is located.

Goodnite, Hank was declared the winner by an enthusiastic mixed audience and a panel of judges at the historic theater in 2004. This short film’s underlying theme of the depiction of human misery, mayhem and murder, in and around the bedroom, ranked it high on my list of great movies. Only 6 minutes in duration, the film kept you spellbound and eagerly anticipating its sequel.  Our youngest son, his colleague and other valued members of  the team, had accomplished the inconceivable and won!  ...  It was a moment to remember for all.

The creator of “Who are we food to?” (“Who Are We Food To?” 27/01/2013) – had made his directorial debut at the age of 21, in collaboration with his classmate, to bring a blockbuster idea in the form of a small movie called Goodnite, Hank, to the big screen. They had won the coveted prize, the honour, in the prestigious Toronto Film Festival online competition. ...  Imagine what they could do with a week, a month’s worth of grocery money and a real plan.  The results could be an Oscar contender, maybe, even a nominee. ... 

Easy Recipes, Healthy and Decadent!

I was introduced to organic coconut oil, earlier this year.  ...  An easy and definitely healthy way was discovered to include it in the diet and also enjoy its introduction into recipes whose formulas have stood the test of time. ...

Coconut oil helps to burn body fat because of its medium chain triglycerides-(MCT). ... It is low in sulphur. ...  It is a soft fat at room temp and melts easily –like butter. Refrigerated, coconut oil becomes rigid and difficult to blend. It is found on the grocery shelves of many grocery stores. There is much to learn and experience using coconut oil.  It imparts a coconut flavour to the foods with which it is paired. Can it be the go-to fat,- in part or in whole- now when making pastry, a healthier alternative to the shortening, butter or lard we all use?  Time will tell. (I have not used it, yet, to make pastry.) ...To test its viability in salad dressing, I decided to reformulate an all time classic: Caesar salad dressing. The results were delicious.

This new dressing had to have the ‘look’ of its counterpart - the characteristic creamy white colour, made of eggs and oil, with garlic.  I soon discovered my version was also delicious. ...  Eggplant was used, replacing the eggs and olive oil  of the original recipe. It was thinly sliced, lightly fried (in coconut oil) or oven roasted (lightly dusted with sea salt and lightly brushed with the oil.)   The eggplant was then pureed with other flavour enhancers: garlic, white pepper, onion powder, parsley, oregano - in a mini food processor or blender. ... Added to this pureed mixture were the remaining liquids: lemon juice and raw apple cider vinegar, in small amounts so as to not overwhelm the overall flavour of this reworked dressing. (Sea salt was added as needed).  

A small amount of ‘melted’ coconut oil was then mixed with the blended ingredients before tossing the homemade dressing onto the bite size pieces of romaine lettuce. ... Refrigerating coconut oil hardens it further, making it near impossible to add to any recipe. (I use it at room temperature and melt it as required) ... (Vegetable ingredients can be ‘pureed’ in advance saving time when making any homemade dressing. Adding a bit of maple syrup to any homemade dressing can increase flavour of salads when fruit is used with salad ingredients)...  Personalize your Caesar dressing with other herbs and spices. ... Toss onto romaine and/or iceberg lettuce to create your own version of this timeless classic.  Toss gently, using two forks to easily lift and separate the leaves of the lettuces. This dressing with its unique flavour will encourage you to eat more romaine lettuce, the nutrient content of which is similar to spinach.

For sweet potato fries, coconut oil was also used.  I used a medium high heat and babysat the fries, blanching them quickly and then fried them later, as needed. Cooking time was greatly reduced this way and fries were ready in an instant. (Be cautious whenever frying. Never leave a frying food unattended). Fries seemed crispier. In the past, grapeseed or peanut oils had been used for French fries and sweet potato fries. 

Organic coconut oil is new to many of us.  Learning to embrace new foods can be the cornerstone for improved health and wellbeing. As we age, our body’s ability to handle certain foods may change, also.  We should be mindful of these changes and perhaps modify not only what we eat but also how certain recipes are interpreted the next time. Slight or major modifications might be in order. ...To be continued,- butter tarts with flaxseeds,  perogies made with a healthy  dough and cabbage rolls made with healthier rice or buckwheat kasha, my favourite grain of all.