High School: Testing the Limits of Thought and Reason

High school became the 'adult' training ground for our three sons. The period from grades 9-12/13 would be a beginning, a tumultuous time of deep reflection, daily decision-making, a crucial period of testing the limits of thought and reason! ... The 'familial' association that had become a cornerstone of their lives, since birth, was now up close and personal, in every choice they made. ... They had been living with the people who had raised them, cared for them and understood them well. The time for flight was soon approaching. ...

Adulthood had arrived - years before it was officially mandated. This burgeoning 'apprenticeship' program was now in effect!... High school was here, baiting their every want and need. Our sons had the size, intellect and will to do as they pleased, they were  told. But there was a cost to this bravado! Indeed there was. (Everything we do has a cost, they were reminded.) ... Peer pressure, of all stripes, was now up close and personal, demonstrating its unrelenting power over mind and body. ... A whole new perspective and directive now influenced everything our sons did, thought and felt. These were the new 'formative' years. ...

Real life with real meaning had arrived ... These daily reminders of life's choices and the lessons learned from these decisions would take them into the future. ... The talk to the teachers, have you done your homework, it's time for bed mentality of the 'elementary' school period was gone. In its place, a new day had arrived. ... Boundaries were set and very clear expectations given, with consequences a real threat to their daily lives. Their opinions, thoughts, ideas would now have 'immediate' life impact. They were living in this real life 'simulator', the effects of which would be felt for years to come.

Every interaction with people or animals tells us a personal truth about ourselves. Early on, our sons' connection with pets, gave them insights into another kind of truth about people and the cruelty, sometimes, shown these animal creatures. (The world was not always a kind, peaceful, reasonable or loving place for man or beast.) ...This 'early bonding' with animals (dogs, cats, and other animals) helped our boys build strong emotional ties, reminding them of the significance of the animal world on man's health and future.. (One day, they would all become pet owners themselves to a host of rescued animals - as mom and dad had before them.)

There was a conundrum to living at home, however. It was called mom and dad, these 'master's' of their fate. ...Our simple philosophy: “Be nice. act responsibly, help out and do your best in whatever endeavour you undertake, and wherever you go” gave them clear guidelines as to what was expected, each and every day. ... Spending earnings from part time jobs - while living at home - had consequences called paying their share of household/living expenses, a common affliction facing all who call themselves adults. ... Our sons could keep their money or give us half, if they chose to spend, at their discretion. The choice was theirs. They could not have it both ways. Life did not work that way. ... (Having 100% discretionary income was an illusion! ) ...There were bills to be paid, rent/mortgage/ house/car insurance costs, house and car repair bills, vet bills, hydro, groceries, etc. - costs associated with living an independent life.  Living at home, while in high school, was a benefit, not to be taken lightly. (The front door was a daily reminder, showing them there was 'another' way!) They learned very quickly the significance of current financial decisions and the future 'purchasing' power of money saved. This understanding and appreciation of money's power would bode well for them. It would be one of life's greatest lessons. ... Their reputation and credit rating now had real meaning, never to be taken lightly, under any circumstances! ... Financial misdirection, early on, can have serious repercussions, later. They knew.  As long as our sons saved most of their hard earned money and spent almost nothing, access to their largess remained largely intact, for their future use, when they no longer lived at home. The future was an unknown, with unpredictable outcomes. Being prepared was the key to financial security and security in general. (Our sons never asked for money and were reluctant to accept it. Their gratitude was evident. This philosophy holds true to this day.)

The use of the family cars was a privilege. It was here that our sons learned about liability, the law, the rules of the road and the dire consequences of flaunting such directives. ... The purchase of a car, expensive transportation equipment that depreciated in value, upon acquisition, was never a buying consideration. It made no sense. It was simply a transportation 'tool' not to be revered as a status symbol. They knew. They were grateful simply to 'rent' the vehicle whose owners allowed them access. ...

With university/college, looming on the horizon, the daily lessons of high school life kept things lively and real, every day of the week. With this newly acquired concept called 'freedom', came its nemesis - consequences. It would help establish a respectful appreciation for reaching adulthood, a reflective time that guided their every move. ... Though we had stopped parenting our sons many years ago, it was now their turn to be in charge. ... The real fun was just beginning!