When Two Worlds Collide

When children enter our lives we begin a most incredible journey as they showcase the world  to us through a lens that is unblemished and simplistic in its analysis.  We are mesmerized by their complete innocence, incredible insights and desire to follow, without question. Children have much to teach us. By the time they become high school students, however, we have much more to learn. We’ve become smarter and have now entered the parenting Olympics.

We have the power and authority to influence our children as they grow and develop. Our unique family specific approach is the key to creating healthy, funny, caring, intelligent adults who are unimpressed by public opinion and ours, on occasion.  The expectations for them, as set out in the 'parent’s manual on parenting children', are plain and simple: "Be nice to each other, help out at home, save your money, and do your best in school, please." The directive is clear and simple. There is no confusion here... High school is on the horizon with all the privilege, awesome power and responsibility that come with it. It’s not all fun and games, however. ..."There’s something called consequences that are now a significant part of the adult package you so crave, understandably. As parents we have lived through the experience upon which you are about to embark. ..."You are ours legally and morally till you are 18 or sooner, if you choose. Please do not test or annoy us. We have the courage and wisdom to know what to do. We are your parents, with debt, a mortgage, a career of sorts, a strong relationship and access to alcohol to strengthen our resolve. Keep us laughing and do what is in your best interests, not ours."

"Grade 8 graduation has arrived. The decisions for your future life officially begin here, not later. Congratulations for the success you have achieved to date. Be humble in what you have attained, however. One hundred years ago this achievement would have been a milestone. Today it is simply expected, a rite of passage, the result of the modern age in which we live. High school awaits with all of its trials, tribulations, exciting transformations, and life re-alignment. It marks an incredible new beginning for you. During this tumultuous period, my job as parent is essentially finished. We are now on standby, awaiting your instructions, in our new role of advisor, counsellor, and an impervious and immovable rock that stands in your way, if the need arises." Remember, we matter, too. ... The power structure will implode, at times, but rebuild once again." 

Parents and teenagers live in parallel worlds where each individual moves in synchronized fashion. Sometimes, the two worlds collide. ...  Our teen sons were given a clear unrestricted view of the power they were about to wield. The things they could do to rock our world were limitless. We knew it. They knew it.  Respect for each other and and a bit of fear kept us all looking in a positive direction. My job now was to protect the family and what it meant financially, especially. Having been a special education secondary school teacher, parent volunteer and a wife of over 20 years at the time gave me the strength to charm and disarm as the situation dictated. The parental right to veto was ours till 'they' reached the age of majority. After that period, their stay with us was tenuous, as occupancy rules began to tighten, considerably. The returning university student is especially intriguing. "Is it package A or B that you desire?" ... "Each has its own unique characteristics, as you know.  So please pick, ever so wisely."

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