A Bad Parenting Fee?

We entered the restaurant with our group: 4 children, 5 and under, one day, many years ago. It was a treat, an experiment, perhaps. Could we do the impossible? They understood the requirements for success. If this visit failed, a simple sandwich at home would be the alternative, less stressful for the adults albeit much learning for the wee ones. Being a parent was my job not theirs. It was an easy do for me.

As the six of us ate, we were approached by a delightful senior citizen, amazed at the solitude on display at this long table in the Ponderosa. She remarked how well behaved they were as they ate their dinners. “Are they all yours?”, she asked. “No, just the boys", I replied. She was moved by the scene of quiet deportment. Courtesy, politeness and a big smile were the only requirements for admission here.

Today, some restaurants are considering a penalty of $50 to parents of unruly children. I rejoice at the suggestion then realize who is being penalized, really? And is the lesson being learned? Perhaps a reminder to the children to tone it down might be a better idea, initially, anyway. The prickly situation needs addressing, nonetheless. If ignored, what's next? Young children do not understand the concept of $50 for what they love to do normally. Let them unleash their high energy antics at home - where it belongs - not here.

Children are always being managed in a continuum of safety measures to protect them. Strict protocols are in place, regularly. (Save the word 'no' for the future when its use has immediate and significant potency. It's more fun then, too). While our progeny are out of control remind them of the plethora of recording devices available to showcase their behaviour to grandparents. The choices are limitless. A visit to the car to wait helps to re-establish the power structure and the need for quiet so easily forgotten in public. The benefits of solitude are in place now. Other's might be interested in knowing their talent to disrupt. Grandpa, grandma, a close family friend, perhaps? 

There are times when noisy children are expected. A restaurant is not the place! Turn it down now! Conversational skills will be practiced here, quietly and respectfully. Co-operation is a must! Our own children knew that eating out was a special treat, a privilege, a destination to be repeated, to those who deserved it. Even the babysitter can be used in a pinch. At no time was I ever held 'hostage'. I was in charge, anyway? I held power. I was the parent, after all. 

The rules of etiquette were in place.  Behaving properly in public was an expectation. Toy stores were no exception. Home was another jurisdiction where rules were relaxed and energy and imagination, explored. Children must be allowed to sing, dance, create and 'imagine' - but at home. In a restaurant their role was to dine, engage in conversation, while showing respect to the diners, farmers, animals, chefs and wait staff who have all toiled, skillfully, over time, to provide us this enjoyable dining event at a cost to mom and dad. Let us say "Thank you".

"Dear children, think quickly, how will this situation resolve itself. I will endeavor to wait. You have one minute to decide. Then it's my turn! Looking forward to the exercise."