Pen and Paper, The Only Way To Go

“Pen and Paper is the only way to go”, says ‘Lucy’, the 21 year old singer,  songwriter, musician, teacher and band leader who taught me how to post and created the moniker “The Momsey”.  Our son’s girlfriend, who has called me ‘Momsey’ since 2010, is now professing these words of wisdom upon learning of the phasing out of paper, pencil and pen, in some classrooms. (The Momsey-5/2012)

Lucy is my ‘editor’ who gives my personal stories the required stamp of approval before they are posted. ... She is a member of the now generation helping to shape the modern hooked up planet that we all inhabit.  ...   Her Blackberry, her laptop computer, her state of the art musical instruments and her acoustic guitar make up her daily world, a somewhat foreign place for those of us born of another time where pay phones, land line phones, typewriters and carbon paper ruled the day. ...  I queried this unusual young woman why she felt so strongly about pen and paper’s slow demise in some circles of thought.  ... "To truly understand the world around us, we must use pen and paper”, she remarked! Learning happens in a more profound way. Pen and paper aids in our understanding and processing of information. Eliminating this step in the elementary classroom is absurd. ... 

As I listened to Lucy’s comments, I also realized the significance of our signature, that unique, prized, must  have bit of handwriting that is our name, mandatory on all legal contracts. Our signature makes what we do, buy or own, official or legal. It seals the deal. It is required. In our signature, we have a very personal stamp, a caricature of us, a mini version of who we are and all that it entails. 

One study published in October 2012, supporting Lucy's hypothesis, verifies that the physical act of writing augments the intellect as it supercharges the brain. ... Using pen and paper forges deeper connections within the brain, an important learning development,  especially, for vulnerable children without access to a computer or other educational aids.     

Lucy learns quickly and explains clearly as she teaches me a quick and easily understood lesson on the connection between the weather and quantum physics.  ...   She is most at home with all manner of gadgets, especially, the king of them all- the computer. ... She writes daily about many things and knows that this physical act- more than any other- helps to give insights into her life and the people in it. Can pen and paper be revelatory tools, too? 

Writing is about movement, about the mind and hand connection and the significance of this bond in learning as certain regions in the brain are activated. (Even colouring is an important creative and therapeutic outlet for children, at times.)  Handwriting or penmanship, as it is called, also helps in creating an emotional outlet for all that is wonderful and painful in our lives, a very personal way of opening up to another person in a letter or card or revealing our innermost thoughts to ourselves. Pen and paper can help with emotional healing.

Pen and paper are not exclusive elements in the formation of thought, learning and personality. To put all our eggs in one basket, so to speak, is foolhardy. Printing is an essential rite of passage for children as they hone their fine motor skills. The skill of paying attention, central for learning to occur, is aided using these simple, easily accessible, inexpensive writing tools. ... The foundation of history was dependent upon primitive pen and paper. For someone as young and modern as Lucy to agree wholeheartedly with me about the significance of these two tools in our lives was a complete surprise. I agreed right back!

Where Fashion Lives

When I  entered high school, a friend of the family made me a dress.  It was brown with a cute little jacket to go with it. That one item was the top pick of my simple wardrobe. Today, high end fashion trends seem to dictate to us, subliminally, more and more, what to wear, which colours to choose and which brands to buy. 

The names Haggar, Non-Fiction, Mark’s Work Wear House are personal fashion favourites along with another whose label is simply a screen printed butterfly inside the neckline. I decided to check out a discount store, a  newspaper flyer and a man’s retail outlet last year that had begun carrying women’s clothing when these clothing ‘discoveries’ made their appearance.  These well-stitched, comfortable, breathable, made mostly of cotton, clothing are wonderfully affordable.  I recall the fashions of the past and the, sometimes, meagre rationing of the fabrics used to make the cropped tops, mini-skirts, and tops whose necklines beckoned for more fabric, in some cases.    

The labels- Haggar-Non-Fiction and retail outlet, Mark’s Work WearHouse are every woman’s label. Looking great and feeling comfortable in what you wear at an affordable price is what everyday fashion is all about..(When luxurious fabrics, designer labels and intricate details are used, we expect to pay more). ...

We have seasonal fashion lines, introduced every few months to continually be reminded of what is trendy, what is acceptable in colours, styles and instructed  as to how these articles of clothing can be worn. Men’s fashion lines, however, seem timeless. There is a greater respect for what men want or need. They would never tolerate the seeming dating of what they wear. Many, also, simply do not care.  (A little change is good for breathing life into a wardrobe).   

Looking back on 100 years of fashion shows that men’s clothing has remained static, pretty much what it was in the early 1900’s in colours and style with only slight design changes, width modifications and colour swings, introduced overtime.  (The human body has not changed in millions of years in terms of the location of head, arms and legs.)  When we hold on to pieces of clothing we love, it is called ‘used’ and out of date, yet, when we go shopping for someone else’s used clothing, some of it high end, it is now labelled ‘vintage’.  (The use of a different adjective to describe preowned articles of clothing can decide the worth of that purchase.)  

I am surrounded by women of all ages, professions and tastes who amaze and humble me with their fashion sense. ... Their fashion skill could rival that of any celebrity, debutant or model on the catwalk. And no one told them what to do or how to do it. Change is nice, occasionally, but discarding pieces because some ‘expert  apparition’ has deigned our choices out of date is to make a mockery of free will.  

Women’s fashion lines seem to change radically, from time to time. Up go the hemlines, down go the hemlines, then they return somewhere in between making us crazy along the way. Colours that were forbidden to be paired together one year are then permissible the next year or next season. I remember one year -late sixties- when the military style shoe was in vogue. And then they vanished, seemingly, overnight.

Fashion lives in our heart and mind. It is a subjective call, an expression of who we are, what we like. Wander into new stores. You never know what lies ahead. Fashion lies hidden in places where we haven’t looked.  Haggar, Non-Fiction and Marks’ Work Wear House are brands that have made the wearing of well made clothing an economical delight- even after they have been washed!  

Trust your instincts and remember other members of your family might need those important fashion dollars more. 

There Are No Stupid Questions!

There are no stupid questions! In our attempt to understand ideas, thoughts or the steps involved in something, we ask questions. ...  Questions help us understand segments of the spoken or written word that we may have missed or misunderstood. For children, it is critical in their attempt to make their learning experience, meaningful, fun and cool, helping to build their self-confidence.  

Years ago, when one of our sons first began working in the produce department of a local food market, he was reminded of the importance of asking questions whenever something about his new job was unclear. (Asking questions  is easier than fixing the costly mistakes that result, especially, in a business environment)   Several weeks later, I met the owner while shopping in the store.  He remarked that our son was one of his best employees simply because he was always asking questions.

When the teacher asks, “Are there any questions”?  many students remain silent, afraid, perhaps, to ask the questions that are on their mind. In the minds of some, the asking of a question or more, is an indication that the student was not listening or worse: that he is stupid. Not so!. ... The opposite is true.  The more questions that are asked, the greater the depth of understanding of the material  at hand.  Questions help to fill in the gaps of learning, whenever information is passed from one person to another or to a group. The teacher  must now look at the material presented and provide yet another view of its properties or explain it again, thus adding a new dimension of thought to the discussion.

Without questions, information does not change. It might even be incorrect, outdated or worse. Progress remains stalled. Complacency might result. ...  (In a buying scenario, questions can stall, delay or omit  outright a non-essential purchase thereby protecting your bottom line.) Why spend money when there is no need to do so?  Questions help keep our minds sharp and the subject at hand, fresh and new. One question can lead to another, sparking a totally different view/mindset, approach or insight into the subject being discussed or studied. ...   ‘Hiding’ behind the academic mask of misunderstanding, indifference or confusion becomes impossible with questions. Our intellect is laid bare for all to see and hear. It can be intimidating, perhaps, but not to be feared. 

When I volunteered in ‘Mary’s’ primary intensive classroom, the asking of questions was the cornerstone of ‘Working with Dough’. It had to be. With Mary’s children, especially, it was the only way to know that information had been transmitted to the  student and processed accurately by each child.  No one could escape being asked a question.  Not even me!  At the end of a session, a pair of students would ask me a question based upon the day’s ‘dough’ events. ...  (Working as a team was a calming technique for the students.) ...   One student would ask his question and invariably, his peer would ask me the same question. I would give the same answer twice or change it, if possible.  With young children who are academically challenged, the first rule is to engage them intellectually.  It is not important that the questions are simple or repeated. What is important is that the student was able to repeat what he had heard, proving that he was listening. (Knowing how to compose a question is also a critical component of learning.)  

One specialized group of professionals who spend the better part of their working lives trying to find answers to perplexing and formidable questions are scientists.  A part of their job entails making huge errors or mistakes in trying to find the truth or discovering a better way. For these educated professionals, the asking of questions is in their job description! It should be in ours, too, for there are no stupid questions in the brilliant minds that ask them.

Special Education, A Design Perspective of the Momsey

As we begin to discuss, evaluate, decide then enact certain criteria for the best way to educate our most vulnerable children, we realize that  shaping their environment can be  the building blocks of an incredible mind in a room that literally grows with the child. ... Translating the qualities of human learning into a workable doctrine should be the mandate in education. Simple, easy, low cost approaches are there. (Clues are everywhere). ...  We need only to watch our children play!  Costly and complex strategies exist, long term, only when there is a constant flow of dollars. (Embracing the techniques and practices of other trained professionals for helping us teach society’s most vulnerable children is not always possible, as the budgets in each jurisdiction, province or state vary.).  

We complicate matters when we think we know what we are doing when, maybe, we do not. Children are not complicated people.  In (Special Education, 5 senses, Engagement 4/2012), (Bullying and Inviting the Bully to Tea-4/2012) (Imagine,5/2012),(The Life and Times of a Preemie 8/2012), and (School in the Modern Age 10/2012), I write about the critical importance of the softer offerings in the educational curriculum, especially, for at-risk children. When we pay close attention to these critical subjects first, they become a magnet for other 'challenging  educational' pursuits, later.

Momsey’s design perspective of a primary special education classroom follows a very basic format based upon the above mentioned criteria of easy, simple, budget friendly. ... (As we all know, a baby cannot learn if it is not having fun. The same can be said of an at-risk child). ... The Spec. Ed. room for the youngest and most vulnerable should be an inviting, unadorned, academically 'safe' place- (homelike atmosphere)- where fun happens and learning results.. Before letters and numbers  come speaking, listening, discussion, doing, engagement, laughing. ..1.) Room colours for the walls, curtains, blinds, and carpeting should be chosen and painted by the students, colours that calm both the growing brain and the five senses of the child.   2.) There would be a movable staging area-for show and tell, speeches. A raised platform could showcase the talents and confidence of the students. ...3) A permanent area of the room would include a stove, small fridge, freezer and sink for baking the simple, the complicated and the ridiculous while experimenting with ingredients: spices, herbs, grains and recipes.  (All five senses of the developing dense brain would be stimulated in all ways.)  

Dough with/without yeast could be the focus of many experiments. (Fresh fruit, water, organic Chinese/African teas and a juicer would be available throughout the day). 4) Another area of the room for self discovery. Charts could feature daily assignments of each student.  Musical selections would vary (classical, country, rock, 50’s big band) for  daily listening pleasure. ... Instructive group dancing,-(A Hat, A Mat and  Music-5/2012) baking,-(We're Smarter Than Adults-9/2012) 'soft' sports' and the creative arts would be the curriculum- not a part of it. 

The Arts are critical components to healthy living and learning. (Somewhere in the room, there would be a counter,  a desk or two for 'school work') Creating the right environment for a special needs child enhances student creativity and problem solving on a daily basis. This 'enclosure' engages the whole child not parts of him/her.  It is a road map for the most vulnerable and helps to level the playing field for him, making it possible for algebra, calculus, physics, geometry, music and literature to gain entrance and acceptance into their world - as it did for our oldest and his younger brothers, many years ago. ... Let us not underestimate the significance of environment.  In Momsey’s world, it is everything!  

My 'Camping' Wedding Dress

The school year had ended. Our tiny rental cottage, in vacation country, was now being reclaimed by its owners once again and we were officially homeless. (The rents skyrocketed during the summer months so it made sense to just leave and begin anew in September). ...   The nomadic life seemed the only alternative, at this point, so we continued with the theme and travelled out west to visit my fiance’s family and friends. This trip would help fill in the two-month summer hiatus.  Deciding to get married at the end of the summer made sense.  Making my wedding dress while camping did not!

The journey across Canada with our recently rescued and adopted ‘daughter’ was a new experience for me. ... (Free Kittens, Puppies For Sale-6/2012)  Making a wedding dress while camping, was an even newer, almost comical experience.  There seemed no other way to be ready to get married later that summer than to have the dress made by the time we returned to Toronto, where I was born and raised, where family lived and where we had met- the previous year- in a bar, my former workplace. (It was a good decision, albeit a hasty one.)

The fabric had been chosen before we left for the cross country trip. Hopefully, I would be able to understand the pattern directions for making my wedding dress, a simple frock with a hood and lacy trim.  Looking back, I am stunned that I thought making a wedding dress while camping was a wise decision. But it was. In hindsight, it still was!    

Today’s vast array of reality shows about “The Dress” gives me pause.  I have never known such thoughts about ‘the dress’. ....  I worried about other things more attuned to who I was: finishing my education, starting my teaching career and simply living life.  My ‘homemade’ dress was not even close to being ‘The Dress’. It was not elegant. It was plain, a shortened version, in length, unadorned and boring. But it fit. I was satisfied. It was an accessory, a garment to wear on a special day uniting two people.   

What was I thinking back in 1972?  With very little money but much time on my hands as we drove out west, I could make my wedding dress, I realized. The pattern pieces were cut when we camped and had sunlight.  Basting the pieces together could be done anytime, in the car, by hand. (The dress was lined so everything had to be cut twice). ... I had already made the most important decision in my life: the best life of my life partner who thought the world of me. Could I ask for more?

The wedding rings were purchased, in quick fashion, from the jewellery store whose discount card I had been given years earlier as a student of Ryerson Polytechnical Institute, now university. As my fiancé waited in the car- in a no parking zone, on Yonge Street, the longest street in Canada, I walked into the store, bought two wedding bands and walked out with the salesman, in tow. He followed me into the car to measure the ring size of the man behind the wheel.   A straightforward transaction had been completed.

The engagement ring never happened. No thoughts about it. No money for it. Ten years later during a particularly cold Canadian winter week, with snow falling all day, every day, my husband returned  after 5 days from a business trip. He presented me with a token of his appreciation: a ring for all my work, tending to the flock: our boys, three and under, our two retrievers and shovelling snow, several times a day, for five days.  We looked at this special ring and called it my engagement ring. Considering the week that had just unfolded, it truly was.    

Driving and The Cabbage Test!!

The time had come. With driving lessons completed and the driver’s test passed, our oldest, at 16 years of age, was now a licensed driver.  He had learned from the best in Canada, Young Drivers of Canada, and was now ready to take to the road in the professional manner in which he was taught. His road skill and knowledge would now be implemented in this next and final chapter: my ultimate cabbage test.  He needed to keep up the momentum of this newly acquired life skill by going out by himself for the very first time, immediately. ...

That first time alone in the car is a pivotal moment in our lives, somewhat euphoric for some.  It was critical that our son’s solitary trip take him through a series of road challenges while fully understanding the scope and magnitude of this awesome power that had just been granted by the government of Ontario and his parents!! ...  

This new piece of movable machinery called a car was now in his power. It could be a mode of transportation or a weapon. To send him on his way for that very first time was an important step for him and his parents. Where could we send him? What would be the proof?  I thought for a moment then decided - the grocery store, the farthest one from our house- would be his destination for that first taste of freedom as a licensed driver. What could he buy?  A small cabbage, of course.  A receipt from the store would be the proof he had purchased from that location, on that date and had followed a particular driving course, challenging him in his status as a new driver. He would buy me the cabbage - a small one- something rarely available when I needed it. ...(Small ones were perfect for cabbage rolls.)

On this first solo trip to the grocery store, our son would encounter merging lanes, intersections, some with lights, some without and stop signs. Right turns, left turns and parking were all a part of his  planned ‘flight path’. This solo test drive would give him a big boost of confidence for that first-time experience behind the wheel.  In the process, I would get that much coveted small green cabbage so desired when wanting to make cabbage rolls. (If he arrived home with a large cabbage, soup and coleslaw would be on the menu.)

The cabbage test became the final step in license acquisition, an expected rite of passage for each of our sons. They would remember the test mom devised to add a dimension to their first drive alone-no one on board- experience. ... They were privileged to be driving. ... Aren’t we all?  Their solitary drive that first time was always a resounding success when a small cabbage came home with them. It was a creative, comical approach to test their newly acquired life skill that first time out alone, after passing the driver’s test. I would benefit, too. Why not, I thought? ...  They were going to the grocery store, anyway and I wanted a cabbage. 

    

Doughnuts for Dinner

It was the end of another busy day with the boys, nine, eight, and six years of age.  Dad was away on business.  I was off the hook-for now. Dinner could be anything.  Hot dogs could always be offered but that was cheating, a lazy decision on my part and not necessarily a healthy choice. Doughnuts for dinner, why not! ... Though the choice of doughnuts was overwhelmingly hailed as a great idea, it was not something I normally thought of as a suitable choice for dinner. But my gut told me otherwise that day.

I had no interest in cooking a meal that day and thought a change of pace was in order considering the circumstances. Tonight, it was cool mom in the kitchen. The doughnuts were home-made, otherwise, what's the point? Our boys loved homemade doughnuts, cruellers and beaver tails, especially, when they were covered in cinnamon with a bit of sugar. (Every so often, it made sense to eat just what you liked as long as other healthy fare made it to the table that day. Grazing can be a healthy departure from the 3 meals a day standard.) 

The dough was made with warm water, yeast, milk, eggs, a bit of sugar, oil and other ingredients to create the wholesome bakery classic. A glass of milk was served alongside. The best part of eating them was toasting them later with toppings available. Sugar was kept to an absolute minimum.  The delicious goodies could be fried and frozen for another time.  Even the kind of oil used was carefully considered. Toasted leftover doughnuts would be a yummy treat for breakfast or snack time.

On yet another day, far into the future, after our sons had left home, I discovered the cupboard was somewhat bare. I began to search for ideas and suddenly, without warning, saw the box. ...  Kraft dinner looked suspiciously like dinner that evening. With my husband soon to arrive, I began to envision an interesting meal using this time-honoured favourite of university students and children alike.

I cooked the pasta al dente and near the end of its cooking time, added frozen peas, a family favourite of many meals. ...  Peas, an upgrade to the dish, contain protein and other nutrients adding to the nutritional status of the meal. The salad was made, yet, something was still missing.  .....Then, I saw the tin.  ... Sardines - Kraft Dinner - peas became an unusual meal combination that evening, not a typical selection for someone who cooks from scratch-most of  the time. But the sardines? Really? Yes, really.It was a favourite of my dad's something I would never have considered, ever. But he did and I'm glad he had.... (Lemon juice and thinly sliced onions were added to the sardines canned in water, complementing the remainder of the meal.)   

Doughnuts for dinner or sardines, Kraft dinner and peas are not obvious choices for a change of pace for the evening meal.  But unleashing the creativity of the mind, we can see the benefits of an about face for the ritual of dinner. Where children are concerned, it shows them that you are flexible in your thinking, that you are cool mom or cool dad. They see compromise in your management style.

Down the road as our children begin to grapple with the many life decisions awaiting them, they just might remember these unusual dining departures of the past and consider our views and opinions worthy of their consideration.   Though food serves to nourish the body, mind and soul, it can also help bridge the generation gap that sometimes divides adults and children within a family unit. If we risk serving doughnuts for dinner or sardines, Kraft dinner and peas, then we must be thinking outside the ‘box’. That must  be a good thing all around.

 Coming soon: The Cabbage Test, Cabbage Soup and Holubtsi (cabbage Rolls)